


Not now, not ever- Violentine

by AbiRainicorn



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Time, Guilt, I wanted to be safe is all, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Sex, Not now not ever, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Romance, Series, Shame, Slow Burn, Smut and Fluff, Violentine, but violet rocks her world, chapters, clementine struggles with her sexuality, it just takes a long time, it's only marked underage because characters are underage in the game, might trigger those with hOCD, not in My Fic, relationship, technically first time topping, they end up together, they just roll with it, vi x clem, violet is ripped because I have a thing for that, violet x clementine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-04 05:14:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17892161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbiRainicorn/pseuds/AbiRainicorn
Summary: “How do you know you’re not gay?” Violet asks, unabashedly.Clementine stutters. “Because I’ve never had feelings for a girl before.”“Have you ever had feelings for a boy?” Violet asks, eager. It makes Clementine’s heart pound.“Nope. Never had feelings for anyone,” she responds.“Then you don’t know,” she states, satisfied with herself. Clem sits there, thinking.Clementine struggles with her sexuality when a certain Violet befriends her. Eventual smut. Slow burn relationship. Violentine.





	1. Not Now, Not Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Song recommendation: Lord Huron- The Night We Met

Her hair is cut at the nape of her neck; an ashy blonde, and tousled from lack of brushing. Her lips rest in a pout on her heart-shaped face. Her eyes are clear green like a cup of green tea, and her dark eyebrows frame them. She wears a jean vest that was probably a jacket before the arms got cut off, and she has a hoodie under it; her jeans are torn. Her boots are dilapidated. Somehow it just makes her look more beautiful.

“-I said my name is Violet. You?” Her voice cuts through the silence- raspy yet sweet. Feminine.

“Clementine. Nice to meet you,” she answers, as her hands begin to sweat.

A booming voice breaks out over the courtyard. Marlon stands at the front door. “Alright, guys! Violet and Clem out front, Ruby and Aasim on watch. Everyone else gets a break!” 

It’s slow. The occasional walker maneuvers its way through the thick grass and dead trees, but for the most part, Clementine is left with Violet to idle and chat. The sun starts to sink over the horizon and the chill of night brushes over their skin. The crickets chirp and they can smell the fire pit burning behind them. Smokey and dry.

“Who means a lot to you, Clementine? Everybody has someone.” She states it as though it’s second nature. Clementine winces.

“I had someone. His name was Lee.” She looks at the ground, standing with her back against a washed-out brick wall. 

Violet sits with her legs crossed. “I-I’m sorry,” she begins, regretting her question. “This world is just too fucking cruel. I’m so sorry.” She rests her head in her hand.

“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not, but I can still talk about him.” She manages a smile. It doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Would you like to talk about him? I’m fine either way.” Violet’s eyes are attentive.

“Yes, I would.” Clementine sits, facing Violet. Brick is uncomfortable and cold, and the ground isn’t much better. The only way to stay warm these days is fire, and that has its own set of problems. 

She sighs. “He taught me everything I know. How to shoot a gun. How to keep my hair short so I don’t get attacked by walkers.” She pauses to zip up her jacket. “Jesus, it’s cold. Anyway, he is basically the reason I’m here now.”

Violet mirrors Clementine, buttoning up her jean vest. “What’s the most important thing he’s taught you?”

Clementine breaks eye contact, looking at a distant tree. “How to say goodbye.”

“God damn,” Violet mutters. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make this conversation all depressing.” Her head rests in her hands, her arms propped up on her legs. She shivers. The sun is leaving. 

“It’s okay,” Clementine says. “People die. Now more than ever. I can’t just go the rest of my life not talking about him.”

“How did he die? Was it walkers?” Violet reminds herself to look over her shoulder, making sure none are coming. “Oh, shit.”

Clementine looks past her, eyes trained on the walker ambling through the forest as she stands up, pulling her knife out of its sheath. “Need a hand?”

Violet shakes her head yes, whipping around to face the walker. They both tiptoe toward it, arms at their sides in a readying stance, Violet’s meat cleaver firm in her hand. The walker snarls and gargles, a deep gurgle at the back of its throat. Its skin appears to be melting off its face, bone exposed at the arms and clothes barely held up by its lack of meat; Clementine ogles at it, wondering if it can’t see despite its eyes being open. Does it know they’re coming, or is that just an instinctual reaction to the virus? 

Before Clementine thinks of an answer to her own questions, Violet heaves her meat cleaver over the walker’s head, the blade crunching and slicing, liquid rot being flung this way and there. She rips it longways through its head with the snow-crunching sound of decaying bone on metal. She tugs it out, killing the walker in one hit, all while Clementine stands in proximity, lowering her arm as she realizes she’s not needed anymore.

“Show-off,” she says sarcastically, sheathing the knife and sliding it back into her back pocket. 

“Sometimes I underestimate myself.” Violet turns, catching a glimpse of Clementine’s bemused face before she knocks it off. “But that was pretty dope,” she follows.

“It was,” says Clementine, who takes at least two tries before even being able to knock a walker to its knees.

Marlon calls them back to dinner; a mixture of canned beans and such. The kids at Erikson’s started a spice garden. It’s come in handy. Otherwise the food wouldn’t be nearly as palatable, but Louis manages to make food close to how good Clementine remembers it. Close.

She sits at a picnic table with Violet, sitting straight across. Half of the bench Clementine chose is left, the rest rotten off. Violet shovels food into her mouth with a clear abandonment of table manners. Clementine wonders if she’s always been like that or if the apocalypse eliminated her care. 

“Are you going to eat?” Violet speaks past a mouthful of beans.

Realizing her gaze had lingered far too long, Clementine shoves a spoonful of food into her mouth, also talking past it. “Yesh.”

Violet smirks before continuing to assault her mouth with food. The fire crackles behind her, warming her jacket. It’s ruby red, and sapphire at the base. Upon finishing her food, she throws her head back, groaning.

“What?” Clementine asks.

“I’m beat,” she says, rubbing her eyes. “You’ve gotta be, too, with your head injury and all.”

Clementine blots at the bloody gauze adorning her head with her fingers, wincing at the dull ache. “Yeah. I’m beat too.”

Violet ducks her head down, whispering. “It was kind of a dick move for Marlon to get you working the day after your accident.” She moves the bowl from between them, Clementine finishing hers still.

“It’s whatever,” Clementine says. “I can handle it.”

“Really? You look like you’re gonna fall asleep in your soup.”

Clementine chews and swallows another spoon. “This is soup?”

Violet shakes her head. “Chili? Close enough.”

Lee was everything to Clementine. She recalls how he got bit by a walker trying to save her from being hurt. How much it hurt her to pull the trigger. Even being surrounded by death, she didn’t understand what it was. Then she got older. Pulling the trigger was the very thing that took her Lee away from her forever. An ache settles in her chest.

“You okay, Clem?” Violet waves her hand in front of Clementine’s face.

Clementine blinks. “I never got to tell you how Lee died.”

“Continue, then,” Violet says, crossing her arms. Not because she’s angry but because the fire is failing at warming her entire body.

Clem notices her own lack of body heat and circles around the table to sit next to Violet, facing the fire. She’s not sure if the heat on her cheeks is from the fire or herself. “I shot him,” she states.

“You what?” Violet shrieks. She then covers her mouth with her hand. 

Clementine continues. “I had to. He was gonna turn.”

“Oh. My. God.”

“You really haven’t killed someone who was gonna turn before?” Clementine is hurt by Violet’s upset.

“No. I meant, ‘oh my god, that’s horrible,’ not ‘oh my god, what’s wrong with you.” Violet swings her legs over to sit in the same direction as Clementine. 

Clementine fumbles with her hands. “I was young. I’m past it now,” she lies.

“I’m not sure I could ever be over that,” Violet replies. Clementine agrees.

The other kids sit scattered about the courtyard. Clementine wonders why they have plates and bowls and the works amidst the apocalypse, but she doesn’t ask. It gets colder the darker the sky grows and the more stars pop into it. Some of the younger kids, excluding AJ, make their way back into the school for bed, but everyone close in age to Clementine and Violet stays outside, chatting amongst themselves. Clementine hasn’t seen people get along this well for a long time.

Louis and Marlon make their way over to Clementine and Violet, sitting on the adjacent half-seated bench. Clementine follows Violet in turning around.

Louis puffs his cheeks out, his dreadlocks falling at either side of his face. “So. cards.”

“Yesss,” Violet whispers. 

Marlon’s hands are clasped in front of him, forearms resting on the table. “So what are we playing, Louis?”

“War, with a twist. Whoever wins gets to ask Clementine a question, and if Clementine wins, she gets to ask us a question. Deal?” He looks towards Clementine, a grin creeping up his face.

“You’re all gonna lose,” Clementine says, cracking her knuckles.

“Bring it on,” Violet says, looking beside herself at Clementine.

Louis deals the cards, slapping stacks down in front of each person. He finishes at himself, motioning around the square for everyone to start.

Violet licks her lips, sliding a card off of her stack with her thumb. She sets it on the table. King of hearts. She looks around at everyone else’s cards, scanning her eyes over every one, resting her hands in her lap before she makes her way to Clementine. Violet bites her bottom lip, looking up at her. 

Clementine’s heart thuds once or twice as she snaps out of her trance, hurriedly slapping her card down on the table. Marlon won.

“So. Uh. Clementine,” he begins. “How’d you and AJ meet? I know you’re not related.”

Clementine sighs. “He was the child of two people I was in a group with. They didn’t make it.” 

“Sorry to hear it,” Marlon says.

Clementine watches again as Violet slides another card from her stack, this time smacking it down on the table. As she starts to scan over the other cards, Clementine sets her own down in time for Violet to run her eyes over it. Violet traces her eyes up Clementine’s arm, up her neck, and to her face only to meet her gaze for a split second before she she looks down again to see who won.

“Have you, uh.” Louis clears his throat. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“Oh, come on,” Violet snaps, turning her head to face away from them all.

“What? It’s a valid question,” Louis says. 

“Yeah, but sometimes you just don’t ask people that shit.” 

“It’s fine, Violet.” Clementine thinks for a moment. Nobody comes to mind. “I have not. Nope.”

“Do you want one?” Louis asks.

Clementine has never had feelings for someone before. By eighteen years old, that should’ve happened already, but the environment makes it hard to find anyone, let alone fall in love with them. She wonders if she even can fall in love at this point. 

“Not really,” she responds. Violet smirks.

They all place their next cards. Clementine won.

“So, Violet. You asked me earlier who matters to me. Who matters to you?” She eyes the rainbow pin tacked to her jean vest.

She swallows. “Minerva. She died on an excursion.”

Although it’s horrible that someone close to Violet died, Clementine finds herself relieved. Relieved that she shares something so integral with her. She also finds herself caring a bit more than she thinks she should. Who was Minerva to Violet? How did she die? Did Violet have to kill her before she turned, too? What did Minerva look like? How did they meet?

“Clementine?” Louis catches her attention. 

“Shit, sorry,” she says, putting her card down on the table. Violet wins.

“What’s the most fucked up thing a person in your group has done?”

Clementine chews her bottom lip, eyes trained on her card below. “Someone used a dying woman as bait for walkers,” she mumbles. 

“Jesus christ,” Marlon says. “That is fucked up.”

AJ interrupts the card game, tugging on Clementine’s sleeve. He wants to go to bed. 

“You were tired, like, an hour ago,” Violet says. “You should definitely go to bed.”

She sighs. “I should.”

“Want me to show you your room?”

 

 

-  
AJ fast asleep, Clementine sits on her bunk bed. The room is bare, for the most part. There’s a dresser and a closet and two beds, but nothing else. She’ll have to change that.

A candle burns on the nightstand. The light flickers across the wall and over their skin, casting a golden hue over them. 

“So, about Minerva.”

“Yes?” Violet answers, leaning against the ladder of AJ’s bed.

“What was your relationship?”

Violet blushes, scratching her head. “She was my girlfriend.” 

“Your girlfriend?” Clementine responds. “You’re gay?” So that's what the button was about.

“You’re not?” she says, smirking. “Yeah, I’m gay. I’m only joking. I know you’re not gay. At least not a lesbian.”

Clementine grimaces. “How would you know that? I mean, I’m not, but how’d you know?”

Violet’s face falls when Clementine says she’s not gay. “Because of Lee.”

Clementine laughs. “Oh god, you think I had feelings for Lee? Not only did I say I’ve never had a boyfriend, but Lee was, like, my dad,” She says, giggling.

“Oh, god,” Violet says. “I’m sorry. I didn’t even ask.”

“It’s fine. You weren’t exactly in the position to bring it up.” She studies Violet’s face. How pink her lips are despite her not wearing makeup. How thick her eyelashes are.

“How do you know you’re not gay?” Violet asks, unabashedly.

Clementine stutters. “Because I’ve never had feelings for a girl before.”

“Have you ever had feelings for a boy?” Violet asks, eager. It makes Clementine’s heart pound.

“Nope. Never had feelings for anyone,” she responds.

“Then you don’t know,” she states, satisfied with herself. Clem sits there, thinking.

“When did you meet Minerva?”

“We went to Erikson together,” she begins. “She had a twin, Sophie. She died, too, at the same time. They were trying to protect each other.”

“I’m so sorry,” Clementine responds. 

“Anyway, she was an amazing singer. Real bluesy. I could listen to her sing for hours upon hours, until I fell asleep. I miss her, a lot,” she says. “But that’s neither here nor there.”

“Why? Why isn’t it here nor there?” Clementine’s eyebrows are furrowed, listening.

“Because she’s gone. I need to move on or else I’m just going to be stuck in it for the rest of my life.”

The candle starts to get down to the last few inches, and the light is just barely enough. Violet knows Clementine doesn’t want her to leave yet, but they just don’t have much to talk about. Clementine scans her eyes up Violet’s body, taking note of the way she carries herself. She walks like a boy. Despite her voice, she seems overwhelmingly dominant. 

“Well, I’d better go now. I’m exhausted. But it was nice talking to you, Clementine,” she says, nearing the door. “Wanna talk more tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.” 

Violet smirks, opening the door. “See you tomorrow, Clem,” she says, closing the door behind her with a squeak and a click. 

Clem waits until Violet’s at least a floor down before her body is wracked with silent sobs, ripping through her. Her tears stream down her face sooner than tears have ever hit her when she’s cried, and she looks over at AJ to make sure he’s not waking up. She manages to stand up to blow out the candle, only to throw herself back onto the bed and allow her body to shake. 

She feels her tears wet the sheets below her, her head throbbing at the point of her accident. Her entire body aches with a combination of being past the point of exhaustion and the absolute emotional turmoil she’s just catapulted herself into. She thinks of Violet’s face. How small and cute her nose is. How adorable it is that she wears a rainbow button as an expression of herself, completely unashamed of her sexuality. Clementine wishes she could.

But she can’t be gay. Not now, not ever.


	2. Pantry closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Clem?” Violet waves her hand in front of Clementine’s face.
> 
> “Sorry. Again, bad sleep,” she says, half-lying. The guilt of thinking of another woman, her friend, like that takes over her thoughts.
> 
> “We should get going anyway,” Violet says, standing. “Everyone’s gonna wonder where the hell we are.”
> 
> Clementine stands after her, disappointed. Despite her sweating and nervousness, she could stay in the closet with Violet forever.
> 
> Clementine and Violet get into a situation, leaving them with plenty of time to talk. Clementine finds herself even further into this mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song recommendation: Tame Impala- Let It Happen

She awakens the next morning more tired than she went to sleep. The sun is just barely peeking through the trees, the room still and cold. AJ still sleeps beside her. Despite how burned out crying had left her, she feels fine. Why did she even think for a second last night that she might be gay? Because some girl she’s known for a day is at least mildly attractive? Even if she were gay, that doesn’t mean she has to act on it. But she’s not.

She’s relieved to be able to choose who to join in community duties. She’s never liked hunting; she loves animals and pities them, even though it’s necessary to kill them for survival in the apocalypse. So she goes with Violet to scavenge for food.

Houses upon houses dot the area surrounding Erikson’s boarding school, including the one that Clementine crashed outside. It takes them upwards of two hours to finally come across a house that wasn’t picked clean. Some houses seem lived in. It makes them uncomfortable knowing how close other people are.

The building is decaying. The wallpaper is desiccated and peeling, the floor is rotten and brown, and there are bugs everywhere. They crawl out of the corners, scattering about the ground. There’s no longer any furniture inside, so Violet and Clementine consider leaving, but they check the kitchen just in case. It’s a long shot, but whatever.

Lo and behold, it’s filled to the brim with cans upon cans and boxes of food; canned beans, canned fruits, pancake mix- all sorts of things, some of which they haven’t seen since the outbreak. Even potato chips. Someone has to be hoarding all of this.

“Okay, we gotta make this quick,” Violet starts, rounding the kitchen door. “Someone’s definitely somewhere close, at least.”

“Why do you think they put the food in the kitchen if they didn’t want anybody to find it? It’s almost like it’s been here since the beginning.” Clementine follows close behind Violet.

“There doesn’t seem to be any dust here, so I doubt it. I mean, no more dust than usual,” she corrects. “Help me out?”

Clementine readies the bags she’d brought while Violet begins handing her cans and boxes, filling bag after bag.

Violet’s slender fingers wrap around each can, a deft arm craning back to Clementine for her to grab. Occasionally their hands brush together, but Clementine rips hers back, shoving it down into the bag. Violet’s hands are rough and calloused from labor; wielding her meat cleaver and such. Her nails are bitten down and unkempt, her skin stained with dirt, and her wrists are even more slender; her veins show through her lily-white skin.

She shakes the can once more in front of Clementine for her to grab it before turning around, wondering why she isn’t. Their eyes meet for a moment, a frown appearing between Violet’s eyebrows.

“What?” she says.

“Sorry. I just zoned out. I did not get good sleep last night.”

“Right,” she replies. “Did you have any dreams last night?”

Clementine’s heartbeat stutters. “No, not that I remember.”

“Really? I always have dreams. Last night I had a dream I was drowning.”

“Sounds more like a nightmare,” Clementine replies.

“Well, yeah,” Violet agrees. “You know, nightmares that you’re drowning are supposed to mean your emotions are overwhelming you.”

Clementine grabs another can. “Do you feel like that?”

Violet looks over her shoulder, pondering. “Not really, but I do feel like something bad’s about to happen. I don’t know what. It’s the worst feeling,” she says.

“I know that feeling,” Clementine says. Three bags full.

“What do you usually dream about, Clem?” Violet asks.

“I don’t really dream, but if I do, it’s usually about something happening to AJ.” She grimaces, recalling a nightmare where she wasn’t able to get him back.

“That sounds horrible. If I were a mother of sorts to someone, I couldn’t imagine how much I’d worry about them,” Violet says.

Leaves rustle outside. The front door creaks.

“Quick. Pantry closet,” Violet states, opening the door as Clementine, the bags and her squish inside like a box of matches.

They stand only a few inches apart from each other, constrained by the closet walls as they try to control their breathing. Violet had a woodsy scent to her, like she’d been sitting by a fire. Maybe it’s because of last night. Once their eyes adjust to the darkness, they catch each other’s wide-eyed gaze.

Clementine whispers, “if whoever’s out there opens this door, we’re fucked.”

“We gotta keep it down,” Violet whispers back.

Clementine is too much of a wreck to focus on the footsteps around the pantry. Violet stands with her hands clasped around her mouth, as though she’d just said something she didn’t mean to. Clementine averts her stare to the ground. There are still plenty of cans surrounding them. Violet’s breath brushes her skin, and she worries Violet can feel her own breath.

Several minutes die before they don’t hear any movement. Clementine itches to leave the pantry so her heart will stop pounding. It’s the kind of heartbeat you can feel all over your body. She jumps when Violet taps her shoulder.

“We should stay here longer,” she says.

Clementine winces. “Why do you wanna be in here any longer? I’m nearly sweating through my hoodie,” she says, voice a harsh whisper.

“For all we know, whoever just came in here is waiting on the front porch to catch us,” Violet says, pulling her sleeves down over her hands. “I don’t wanna get caught. It’s worth the wait.”

Clementine responds by slumping down the wall to a sitting position, her legs tucked to her chest. Violet follows.

“What are we supposed to do while we wait?” Clementine asks, regular speaking voice.

“What? You don’t wanna talk to me?” Violet jokes.

“Didn’t know it was an option,” Clementine replies. “What do you want to talk about?”

Violet chews her bottom lip. “Hmm, why don’t we do a type of game we played last night?”

“We don’t have any cards.”

“We have our hands,” Violet responds. “Rock paper scissors. Whoever wins gets to ask a question.”

“Deal.”

Violet taps her fist against her open palm, chanting “Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.”

Clementine follows. Paper. Violet chose rock.

“Umm,” Clementine starts. “I honestly have no idea what to ask you.”

“It could be anything,” Violet responds. “If I don’t want to answer I just won’t.”

Clementine swallows past a lump in her throat. “Okay.” She puts up her hood. “Erikson is pretty much empty. Where’d everyone go?”

Violet looks at the ceiling, thinking. “They all fled the day of the outbreak.”

“And they just... left you there?”

“Pretty much,” Violet answers, meeting Clementine’s eyes again. “They didn’t put up a fight trying to take anybody who wanted to stay. So there were about thirty of us, in the beginning. Lots of people left.”

“Do you know what happened to the people who left?”

Violet smirks. Clementine fumbles with her hands. “Only one question per win, Clem.”

“I already asked you two,” she smiles.

“Shit, you’re right,” Violet mutters. “Don’t trick me next round,” she says.

Rock, paper, scissors. Violet wins, crushing her ‘rock’ atop Clementine’s ‘scissors.’

“Umm,” she begins. “You’re right, This is hard. Let me think.”

She bites her lip, looking at the ceiling. Somehow it’s like she’s looking at the stars. Clementine draws a breath.

“Do you do better in a group, or on your own?”

“I don’t know, do you think I’m doing well in this group?” Clementine smiles.

“I do, but it hasn’t really been that long,” she says. “You’re really cooperative, but you seem better suited to be a leader.”

Clementine shifts. “Really?” she says, sarcastically.

“I mean it,” Violet states. Stern but not mean.

“I truly think I’d do better in a small group. No more than ten people.”

“Seriously? Then who would do all the stuff you need to get done?” Violet rests her head in her hands, her elbows propped up on her knees.

“I’d do it,” Clementine states matter-of-factly.

Violet laughs. “You think you can do all that stuff? Not that I doubt you. But I’d find it seriously hard to enjoy living if I were working constantly. Erikson’s got it all worked out.”

When Violet laughs, her canines poke into her bottom lip. Her smile reaches her eyes, creasing the bottoms. Her cheeks are full and her eyes catch a glint of the sun poking through the door. Clementine watches as the leans her head back and the sun leaves.

“Yeah, that is true.” She thinks about how she’d miss Erikson if she left, even after only being there a couple of days. She likes having someone to talk to.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” Violet says, and Clementine chooses scissors. She chooses paper. “Fuck!”

“What?” Clementine startles.

“I wanted to ask you another question,” she says.

“Them’s the rules,” Clementine jokes. “From last question. What happened to the people who left?”

Violet’s face falls a little, just enough for Clementine to notice. “I imagine some of them are still out there somewhere, while some are definitely dead.”

“Why definitely?” Clementine furrows her brows, listening.

“That school was kindergarten to twelfth grade. The younger kids are definitely gone,” she says, sighing.

“That’s just fucked up.”

“It’s the truth,” Violet says. “Just how the world works now.”

Clementine thinks of AJ, kindergarten age.

“Are you okay, Clem?” Violet asks.

“I’m fine,” Clementine assures.

Rock, paper, scissors. Violet wraps her ‘paper’ over Clementine’s ‘rock,’ Violet’s hands warm but dry. She lingers there a second, celebrating her victory. Clementine’s lips part as their eyes meet, only to immediately avert them.

“Um, have you ever had a close friend?” Violet cocks her head, waiting for her answer.

Clementine thinks. The only people she’s been able to connect to were adults, minus Sarah, who was older than her and yet so sheltered she didn’t even know what a walker was. “The closest I’ve ever had was a girl called Sarah.”

“What was she like?”

“I wasn’t that close,” she says, fetching back in her memory. “She was very closed off. Her dad hid everything about the outbreak from her.”

“Oh,” she says. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“Because you haven’t had close friends,” she clarifies. “Do you want one?”

Clementine swallows. “Yes.”

“Who?”

“You,” she spits out, regretting it. Even though it’s only about friendship.

Violet ignores her regret. “I’d say we’re already on that track.”

They smile at each other. Violet’s eyes are half lidded. Probably from exhaustion.

Rock, paper, scissors. Clementine chose paper. Violet chose rock.

“So, who’s your closest friend?” Clementine asks.

Violet smirks. “Hey, you can’t ask me something I just asked you. That’s cheating.”

“C’mon,” Clementine prods. “I wanna know.”

“Okay,” Violet says. “It used to be Brody. Now we just argue.”

“I noticed. Why don’t you two get along?”

“You have to wait to ask,” Violet says.

Clementine shrugs. “Why don’t we just ditch the game and chat instead?”

“Sure.”

Clementine’s cheeks heat up.

“We just argue. She always seems to pick something from what I say and just… runs with it. I can’t stand her anymore. We just don’t click like we used to.”

Clementine sighs. “That happens,” she states. “But do you have someone else now?”

“Louis.”

Clementine’s jaw drops. “Seriously? You two never seem to get along.”

“He’s a real sweetheart when you get to know him. Annoying, but a sweetheart nonetheless.”

“I seriously think he likes me.”

Violet smiles. “He definitely does.”

Clementine inales. “Yeahhh…”

Violet grows more eager. “Do you like him back?”

Clementine thinks of his dreadlocks, clear complexion and long coat. His deep brown eyes. His facial structure and loud, confident and booming voice. It does nothing for her.

“No.”

Violet settles. “Oh. Okay.”

Their eyes meet for a second, brown tangling with green. Clementine picks at her nails, swallowing past the same lump in her throat. She grows a little dizzy. “Do you like anyone?”

Violet thinks for a second, smiling that same smile with the full cheeks. She looks toward the door, resting her face on her hand. “I, um…” she begins to laugh, her teeth showing. “Yeah, I do.”

Clementine’s face falls. “Oh. A girl?”

“Definitely a girl,” she responds. “I am gay, after all.”

Clementine’s heart aches a little. She’s only known her for a day, so it can’t be her. But she wants it to be, despite being straight. Just to know someone so beautiful likes her would make her head spin, even if she does nothing about it. Someone whose smile could light up a room. Someone who somehow looks perfect despite living in the literal apocalypse. The thought is enticing.

“Clem?” Violet waves her hand in front of Clementine’s face.

“Sorry. Again, bad sleep,” she says, half-lying. The guilt of thinking of another woman, her friend, like that takes over her thoughts.

“We should get going anyway,” Violet says, standing. “Everyone’s gonna wonder where the hell we are.”

Clementine stands after her, disappointed. Despite her sweating and nervousness, she could stay in the closet with Violet forever.

They squint, expecting it to be bright outside, but the sun is well over the horizon.

Violet gasps. “Fuck. How are we gonna get back? We must’ve been here for hours.”

Clementine grabs her bags, scanning her eyes over the pitch black house, already unfamiliar to them. She trudges her way through the place, making it to the front door only to realize Violet trailing behind her. Clementine closes her eyes, drawing a breath and swallowing her fear. “Here, take my hand,” she says, extending her arm. She thinks better of it, and before Violet sees, she wipes her hand off on her hoodie and extends her arm again.

“Um, alright,” Violet says, and they don’t stop holding hands until they get close enough to the courtyard for everyone to see.

 

-  
Dinner is the same as last night, and Clementine, being a creature of habit, sits right across from Violet on the same bench as the night before. Violet’s elbows rest on the table as she shovels her food into her mouth again. The fire heats up her back like the night before, and she occasionally presses her vest to her back to feel it more.

Clementine watches bemusedly as she eats.

“What?” Violet asks past a mouthful of food.

“The way you eat,” Clementine says, giggling.

“What about it?” Violet asks.

Clementine smiles. “You just… eat so fast. Like you’re starving,” she says. “You like… inhale your food. As though someone is standing behind you about to take it. It’s interesting.”

Violet shrugs. “I am kind of starving.”

“Are you?”

“Well, I’ve spent all day not eating,” she says. “I’m like a rabbit. I need to eat a little all day long or I get fuckin’ hungry.”

It smells of smoke. Clementine rests in a comfortable exhaustion. She prods at her dinner, taking small bits while she listens to the soothing rumble of conversation in the background. Crickets chirp and frogs croak.

AJ comes running over. “Clem, can I stay with Tenn tonight? Please?”

Clementine smiles. “Okay. Be nice,” she says.

“Wanna go up to your room?” Violet asks.

“Sure,” Clementine says, a familiar ache settling in her chest.

The halls of Erikson are surprisingly well-kept for a school which hasn’t been operated for eight years. Despite this, the wallpaper peels off the walls, and damages go unfixed. It smells like rain, even inside, and the fire goes out from it as it begins to pour.

Finally they make it to Clementine’s room, now decorated by drawings here and there, some from AJ. Clementine sits on the bed and Violet sits across from her on AJ’s.

“God, I miss brushing my teeth more often. I never thought I’d say that in my life,” Violet says, throwing her head back.

“I miss taking a nice warm shower,” Clementine says. “I constantly feel like a bum.”

Violet laughs. “You at least don’t look like one,” she says, making eye contact.

“Marlon’s hair doesn’t exactly help him in that department,” Clementine says, smirking.

Violet erupts in laughter. “Ha! Yeah,” she says past her giggles. Her smile, again.

“How do you feel about him, by the way?” Clementine asks.

“I don’t feel one way or another,” she says. “He’s not a friend but he’s not an enemy.”

“I feel the same,” Clementine replies.

“You hardly know him.”

“I just have a bad feeling about him,” she says. They stop talking for awhile, Clementine playing with her hands, Violet looking out the window.

“It never rains around here,” Violet says. “Maybe if it stops by tomorrow we could go to the lake.”

“I’d like that,” Clementine says.

“I definitely need a shower anyway. Or a bath. Whatever that’s called.”

“It’s freezing outside,” Clementine says, furrowing her brows.

“If it were freezing outside it’d be snowing. The cold never stopped me before.”

They chat more, about everything. The people at Erikson, people they used to know, things they wish to do in the future. Clementine can’t get rid of her nervousness. She can’t get rid of her fear of saying something wrong, however she could mess up. Her eyes keep straying to analyze Violet’s facial expressions. She looks down at her lips so long there’s no way Violet didn’t notice.

She could kiss her right now, just to see what it’d feel like. Her first kiss. Her first with a girl. How soft would her lips be? Where would she place her hands? Would she even reciprocate, having a crush on someone else? How ragged could Clementine make Violet’s breathing go? Would she even like it?  
“Anyway, Clem, I’m even more tired than I was last night. As much as I’d like to keep talking to you, I really need to go to bed.” Violet sits up on the bed, hands gripping the edge.

“Okay. I’m pretty tired, too,” She says, and Violet smiles. The light catches her eyes again. Clearish green, like glass. She looks like she could fall asleep. Clementine thinks back to earlier, all the times their hands touched.

“Hugs?” Violet asks.

“Whoa, really?” Clementine asks. “You don’t seem like the hugging type.”

“I’m not, but you make me want to try new things.” Violet smirks.

And so they do. It lingers, their bodies warm, and Clementine hopes Violet can’t feel her heart beating. Now. She could keep her here. She could ask her to stay. She could kiss her when she backs away. She just wants to know what it feels like. She starts to feel warm again, her arms going slack right before Violet backs away, maintaining eye contact for a second. Then Violet makes her way to the door.

“See you in the morning, Clem. I look forward to going to the lake.”

Clementine stutters. “Me too.”

And Violet shuts the door behind her, with a creak and a click. Clementine listens to her footsteps traverse the hall before they fade away, Clementine still sitting exactly where she was left. She closes her eyes and huffs. This needs to happen right now. She needs to know.

She inches her sweatshirt’s zipper down until it’s undone and shrugs it off her shoulders. She swallows before maneuvering her way out of her tee shirt, looking down at her own body. Her skin is all splotchy from being a nervous wreck. She sheds her bra, too, her breathing laboring as she takes one breast into her hand.

_Louis_ , she thinks, as her hand comes to rid her of her pants. _Louis_ , she thinks, as she dips her hand into her underwear, feeling how wet she’d become being around Violet. She lies on her back, teasing her thighs and rolling a nipple between her fingers. She flips on her stomach, kissing her pillow how she imagines she’d like to be kissed. _Louis_ , she thinks, as she presses her hand to her clit through her underwear.

She grinds against her hand. _Louis_ , she thinks, as she slips her fingers inside her underwear. Her breathing comes as ragged as she imagined making Violet’s. Her eyes are half lidded. _Oh_ , she thinks as she recalls Violet’s half lidded eyes in the pantry closet.

Her underwear is still silky despite being in the conditions. Her sheets are clean and smell like smoke. Like Violet. Maybe they clean them often here. She slips her fingers inside herself with a huff. _Louis_ , she thinks, as she pumps them inside and out, curling on exit, the noise of her wetness filling the room. _Louis_ , she thinks, as she increases pace.

It’s not working. She flips over to her back again, her legs spread as she fucks herself. She imagines Louis between her legs, pumping in and out. It doesn’t work. She thinks of him using his hands instead. She increases pace, closing her eyes and kissing her free arm, imagining the softness of Louis’s lips against hers. Of Violet’s lips.

_Violet_ , she thinks, grinding into her hand as she pumps in and out. _Violet_ , she thinks, as she curls them inside. She squirms. _Violet_ , she thinks, as she clamps her teeth down on to her arm enough to leave a mark. _Violet_ , she thinks, as she takes a deep inhale of the sheets below her. They smell just like her. They smell how she imagines Violet would smell, even with all of her clothes off. The scent of her hair. The scent of her skin.

And then Violet is between her legs as she withdraws her fingers to rub her clit. _Violet_ , she thinks, as she imagines Violet laying a kiss right at her center. As she imagines Violet taking a broad swipe at her entrance, tasting her. _‘You taste so good,’_ she imagines her saying as she slides her fingers inside.

_Violet_ , she thinks, as she reaches up to grab her breast with her free hand. That’s Violet’s hand, holding her down. Feeling her skin. Tasting her as she pumps in and out, circling her clit with her tongue. Going faster. Her hair haphazard, framing her face, her lips just barely swollen from kissing her, her hands rough and warm. Her tongue slick and smooth. _Violet_ , she thinks, as she pushes her fingers in to the hilt.

_Violet_ , she says, as she shoves her face into the sheets. _Violet_ , she says, as she rubs her clit with her free hand, grinding against it. _Violet, Violet, Violet,_ she says, as she imagines using Violet’s tongue to fuck herself, her fingers threaded in Violet’s hair.

_Violet_ , she says as she comes, the name rolling hoarse and labored off her tongue. Her come drips onto her fingers as she imagines Violet swallowing it. That smile of hers. The green of her eyes. _Violet. Violet. Violet._

Clementine manages to sit up in a panic, wiping her hands off on the sheets. She manages to get her clothes back on in a hurry, trying to beat her cry. She slings the tee shirt over her head, pulling her arms back into her sweatshirt sleeves. She hyperventilates as tears begin to roll down her cheeks. Her entire chest rises and falls as she throws herself back onto the bed. She could throw up. The room is dizzy.

She loses control of her thoughts. _Violet. Louis. Pantry closet. Lake. Dinnertime. Holding hands. Jean vest. Tall, tall grass. Old house. Sweat. Dying._

By the time she’s capable of calming down, she’s so exhausted that she falls asleep within a couple of minutes, her muscles finally able to relax into her mattress. 

That night, she dreams of drowning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, chapter two!  
> DISCLAIMER: Although I marked my story with the "Underage" archive warning, Clementine is 18 in my story. I only marked it as such because Clementine is a minor in the games.


	3. Hotter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine shifts to wade next to her. She takes a breath, stretching her lungs before extending her arm to play with Violet’s hair. It floats through her fingers, silken within the water. Clementine’s lips part as she studies Violet’s closed eyes. They way her eyes move under the lids. Like there’s so much buzzing around that head of hers.
> 
> Clementine and Violet both find out a lot of things. Loads of angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song recommendation: Massive Attack- The Spoils ft. Hope Sandoval

“Where would you go on a road trip if you could, Clem?” Violet asks, arms full of towels, soap, clothes, and sheets.

 

Clementine carries nearly all her belongings. “I’d go to the beach. Can’t remember the last time I just sunk under the waves and let them roll over me.”

 

“Oh, god, that’s the dream,” Violet replies. 

 

Somehow it’s warm outside. Coincidentally, given that they planned on going to the lake. There’s no way to tell weather anymore, so every plan involving the outdoors is hit or miss. The sun bathes them as they walk, trudging through leaves. It’s probably October. 

 

Every time Clementine looks at Violet, she can’t help but be reminded of the night before. The woman she fantasized about stands right in front of her, just inches shorter, just inches apart. Close enough that she can see the stitches in her weathered boots; the strands of caramel in her blonde hair.

 

There’s said to be a few different ways to experience shame. You can blame yourself or you can blame others. Every time Clementine looks Violet in the eyes, the shame nestles its way into her chest and stomach. She harbors a disgust for her own thoughts. What if Violet knew she thought of her in that intimate way? Violet is perfectly fine to be attracted to whoever she wants. But Clementine is not gay. She can’t think of girls  _ like that. _

 

After walking at least a mile, Clementine is able to shove most of her shame into the far reaches of her mind. Most. Sometimes a thought bubbles its way up before she can force it back down. But she’s under control. This will pass.

 

The dock floats on the lake like a loose board. A thick ring of grass surrounds the lake; cattails stick out of it like corndogs. Violet weaves her way through, placing all of her things on the dock as she sits to face Clementine, still weaving her own way through. Grass tickles her legs like feathers- if feathers were sharp on the sides- and sweat begins to bead around her forehead. 

 

She sits in front of Violet, who grins so wide Clem would be rude not to ask why.

 

“Ta-daaa,” she says, as she separates the two towels in front of her, revealing a bag of chips nestled inside, Clementine covering her blush with her hands.

 

“Oh my god, Violet, did you really steal a bag of chips?”

 

Violet averts her gaze. “It’s not technically stealing. We were the ones who found it, anyway,” she says. “And shouldn’t you be happy?”

 

Clementine shifts so she’s sitting beside her folded legs. “No, I’m not happy- you didn’t bring a bag for me.”

 

“We can share, dummy,” Violet jokes. “I wouldn’t just wave a bag of chips in front of your face.”

 

Clementine shouldn’t have expected that from her, anyway. Violet’s taken every opportunity she’s had to be nice. “Oh.”

 

Violet opens the bag with a crinkle. She inches her way closer, sitting to face the same direction as Clementine, holding the bag out to her. 

 

Despite Violet’s voracious appetite, she waits for Clementine to eat, only picking a chip out after Clementine has; although she sometimes sneaks two. 

 

“Fuck, these are so stale,” Clementine says.

 

“But they’re still so good,” Violet says, crunching down on a chip.

 

“True,” Clementine responds.

 

“So, about the beach. When I was a kid, I hated the feeling of wet sand stuck to my feet. It drove me absolutely insane.”

 

“The thing I hated most was when the salt of the ocean water would make my hair stiff and sticky,” Clementine says. “I’d need a shower as soon as I stepped back into the house.”

 

“My favorite part of the beach is when the ice cream truck would come and all the other kids would go running through the sand to be first in line. Damn, do I miss ice cream.”

 

“My favorite was snow cones.”

 

“Get out,” Violet says, throwing her head back. “Me too.”

 

Clementine smiles, looking at the way the sun reflects off the water. They get down to chip crumbs and Violet gives her  _ a look.  _ Like she’s pained to say it. 

 

“What?”

 

“Can I eat the crumbs?” Violet asks, feigning strain in her voice. 

 

Clementine laughs, pushing the bag towards her. Their hands touch for a second. Violet pours the contents into her mouth.

 

Violet sighs. She stands, her svelte figure surrounded by a halo of sunshine. She sets the soap aside and shakes out the sheets, walking towards the water and dipping the sheet in as though she were processing film in a dark room. Slow. Steady. Hands balled around either end of the sheet. Knuckles prominent. 

 

Clementine shakes her head while Violet’s back is turned and takes her own sheets beside her, mirroring her. Violet doesn’t even know how much she’s panicking on the inside. She doesn’t even know how much she’s cried since they met. She doesn’t know how much Clementine wants to jump in the lake and disappear. 

 

“I’ve always wanted to hit the open road,” Violet says, sitting on the edge of the dock.

 

“I hadn’t even gone on road trips before the outbreak. I’m dying to go on one.” Clementine kneels next to Violet.

 

“If we ever find access to a car, let’s go.”

 

“You’re serious?” Clementine looks over to Violet for confirmation. She’s smirking.

 

“Yeah, I’m serious,” Violet says. “But you can’t drive,” she adds.

 

“Wow, fuck you,” Clementine jokes. “You don’t even know how to drive a car.”

 

Violet’s face falls. “You don’t know that.”

 

Clementine bites her lip. “Who taught you?”

 

“Minerva and I learned together,” she says, letting out a breath.

 

“Fuck.” Clementine hides her face in her hands. “Leave it to me to ruin the mood. I’m sorry.”

 

“You’re fine,” she says, forcing a smile. “It’s like you’ve said. People die. We can’t go our whole lives not talking about it.

 

Clementine’s smile is shy. 

 

“Anyway, Clem, I’m completely serious. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

 

“Right now?”

 

“No,” she says. “When the time’s right. We’ll go.”

 

“What about AJ?” Clementine plots this in her head.

 

“He’d obviously come too,” Violet says, lowering her voice. “Promise me we can go?”

 

Clementine ponders it for a couple breaths. She’s lightheaded- like she’s floating. Fuck it. “Sure, why the hell not.”

 

They make eye contact, Violet’s toothy smile forcing Clementine to copy. 

 

“It upsets me I’m never gonna be able to go on a normal road trip,” Violet says.

 

“What would be the difference between then and now?” Clementine asks.

 

“Ice cream trucks. Undamaged roads. No hoards of walkers every fuckin’ mile,” she huffs. “A boardwalk booming with people. Never have I wished to just be around people.”

 

“You’re right. I’m sick of having to be on guard all the time.”

 

“It’s not that,” Violet says. “It’s just the loss of any sense of normality. Everything is so insanely different. This mess has changed everyone. You can’t just… live anymore.”

 

“Being around you makes me feel like I can live a little,” Clementine says.

 

“Oh yeah?” They meet eyes. Clementine nods.

 

“It beats doing chores alone all day,” she says.

 

Violet hides a smile. Not well enough. “Yeah, but what about snow cones?”

 

“I guess if it gets below freezing outside you could put some gatorade or something out there and shave it all off once it’s frozen,” Clementine suggests.

 

“With what? A knife with blood and guts all over it?”

 

“You can wash the knife off first.”

 

“Ugh! That takes effort,” Violet says. “Do I look like the kind of girl who likes doing a lot of work?”

 

Clementine runs her eyes over Violet’s light muscle, under her shirt. “Yes.”

 

Heat rises to Violet’s cheeks. “Oh. Well, who wants to eat a snowcone in the freezing cold?”

 

Clementine shakes her head.

 

Their surroundings are an overwhelming green. Washed-out green, like an unripe lime. They lie on the dock, facing the sky, their clothes and such airing out behind them. The sun beams down on them, shining from the tallest point of the stratosphere. They babble on about vacation plans. About running away. About pretending there isn’t death overwhelming them. In the moment it even feels like it isn’t.

 

Clementine breaks the conversation. “I’m so hot. You’ve gotta be sweating,” she says, rolling her head over to see. “Yup. You are.”

 

Violet raises her eyebrows. “Clementine. We are surrounded by a body of water right now.” She smirks.

 

Oh, no. Not this. Surely she’s keeping her clothes on if they jump in.

 

“No way.”

 

“Yes way,” Violet argues, sitting up as Clementine stays put. “I’ll go first,” she says, shedding her vest.

 

“Don’t, Violet,” Clementine pleads.

 

“Watch me,” she replies.

 

“You shouldn’t because it’d be unfair. I’m not going in,” Clementine says, her voice rushed. 

 

“You say that, but I’m gonna jump in and you’re not gonna be able to help yourself,” Violet says.

 

Clementine closes her eyes, hoping with all her power that Violet isn’t stripping right now. “How do you even know if you can touch the bottom? All the mud…”

 

“I’ve swam here many a time,” Violet says. “Especially after the rain, it’s plenty full.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“There’s nothing wrong with taking a load off, Clem,” Violet teases.

 

Clementine opens her eyes just in time to be splashed by Violet’s wake, sending ripples through the lake. She stays underwater for a moment before emerging, water pouring off of her face.

 

Her hair is slicked back, exposing her entire face. Her cheekbones. Her clear complexion. Her just-plump-enough lips. Her thick eyebrows and lashes. Her eyes, which match the color of the lake. Clementine looks behind her at the dock to make sure her clothes aren’t laid down. Thank god. She wades in the water, creating light ripples above her arms. 

 

Clementine is feverish; the kind of heat only a cold can leave you with overwhelms her. Shivers at the same time. No breath she takes seems to be enough air.

 

Violet’s smile moves her whole face. “How bad do you wanna be in this water right now?”

 

Clementine can’t hide her smile as she slides in from off the dock, joining Violet. “Oh geez, you really can’t touch the bottom,” she says. 

 

“Stick your head under,” Violet says.

 

She draws a breath, puffing out her cheeks as she sinks underneath, her eyes squeezed shut. She stays down there, allowing the cold to wash over her. She wonders what it’d be like to just float here, forever. Never worrying about walkers. Never being responsible for anyone but herself. Just feeling her chest rise and fall as the water holds her in its hands.

 

And she surfaces, opening her eyes to meet Violet’s.

 

“This is the lake I learned to swim in,” Violet says.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“It feels so much smaller now,” she says. “It took me forever to learn how to swim.”

 

“I’m a natural-born fish,” Clementine says. 

 

“I can tell. You’re not even tired. No fair.”

 

Violet shifts to float on her back, her hair splaying to either side of her face. The golden light washes over them. Clementine joins her, studying the clouds in the sky. Somehow Violet’s hair looks lighter in the water. Weightless.

 

“Do you see any shapes in the clouds?” Clementine asks.

 

“I spy with my little eye… a potato chip. A stale one,” she adds.

 

Clementine giggles. “Anything else?”

 

“Another potato chip.”

 

“Violet.”

 

“I’m hungry,” she whines.

 

“We literally just ate twenty minutes ago.”

 

Violet smiles at the sky.

 

Clementine shifts to wade next to her. She takes a breath, stretching her lungs before extending her arm to play with Violet’s hair. It floats through her fingers, silken within the water. Clementine’s lips part as she studies Violet’s closed eyes. They way her eyes move under the lids. Like there’s so much buzzing around that head of hers.

 

“You hair is beautiful,” she says, imagining grabbing her entire face. Imagining saying nothing. Just holding her there.

 

“I’ve always wanted to dye it brown.”

 

“It’s a good thing you can’t, because it’s perfect the way it is.” 

 

Heart jumping, Clementine watches as Violet sinks down under, emerging with her cheeks full.

 

“What are you- oh, disgusting,” Clementine says, lamenting the stream of lake water shooting out of Violet’s mouth like a water fountain. 

 

Violet giggles once her mouth is empty. “Do it. I dare you.”

 

Violet’s eyes trained on Clementine, Clementine submerges herself and pokes out of the water, only just able to prevent her smile as she spits the water out, gracelessly, unlike Violet.

 

“Disgusting,” Violet mocks, her eye contact never straying.

 

They wade without words for a minute or two, until their clothes weigh them down. Violet nods at a confused Clementine before wriggling out of her shirt, slinging it up onto the dock. 

 

Clementine’s heart shatters into a million pieces. She just looks at her shoulders, unobstructed by cloth. Freckled all over like a robin’s egg. She swallows. Her throat is tight.

 

She notices no straps. “Your bra?”

 

Violet whispers. “I’m not wearing one.”

 

Clementine looks away. She closes her eyes. She opens them again. 

 

She makes a dare with herself, taking her pants off, water splatting the deck as she throws them there. She makes eye contact with Violet again. Violet, whose eyes are half lidded. Whose lips don’t touch one another. Whose tongue darts out to lick them.

 

A smile tugs at the corners of Violet’s lips. Only for a second.

 

Violet bites her bottom lip as she unbuttons her pants with a deft hand, wading with her free arm. Clementine still has a fever. A burning, aching fever, all over her body like a rash. She exhales as Violet slaps her pants down onto the deck, never breaking eye contact. Violet’s breathing labors. Air is a thick fog in their lungs; grasshoppers, rippling water and breath are the only noises. 

 

Violet’s eyes dig into hers, expecting. Clementine can watch her thoughts as they pass through her face like subtitles on a screen. They’re completely entranced with each other. 

 

Clementine slips her underwear off. White lace placed on the deck, atop all the other clothes. Violet’s eye contact only strays to look at Clementine’s underwear. Girly. Feminine. Light, like the curls of Clementine’s hair. Light like the brown of Clementine’s eyes. Unlike her skin, which hasn’t missed a day of sunshine. She meets Clementine’s eyes again, her cheeks a rosy pink against her white skin. 

 

She forces her mouth shut as she takes off her own underwear, holding it under the water for a moment, her eyebrows crept just a centimeter up her face. She swallows before placing her underwear on top of her own pile of clothes. Fuck. They’re boxers. She snakes her arm back into the water, inching toward Clementine.

 

She could kiss her. Right now. She could wade over and grab her face, barely brushing their lips together before taking all of her. Before satisfying her curiosity. Her urge. She could feel Violet pressed to her body, the only barrier between them being lakewater. She could tell her how beautiful she is. She could thread their legs together and pull Violet in by her neck, twirling her fingers around Violet’s hair. 

 

Violet breaks the silence. “Your shirt,” she whispers.

 

Clementine’s chest tightens. She kicks under the water, gripping either side of her shirt before tossing it out of the water, the cloth breaching like a fish. Violet wades closer as she crosses her arms over her chest, hiding her breasts.

 

Violet inches closer yet. Inches apart. Inches close. She swallows. Her voice is shaky. “You don’t have to be afraid, Clementine.”

 

Clementine is aware of the fact that Violet is completely nude underwater. That they’re both nude underwater. Completely exposed. She’s aware of Violet’s breath on her face. Of their breath on each other’s faces. Of the distance between their lips. Of the fact that Violet wears boxers. Of the fact that Violet’s breasts are so small that she couldn’t tell she wasn’t wearing a bra. How slender she must be under all her clothes. 

 

She uncrosses one arm, Violet exhaling as she peeks from above the water. Her face burns a crimson red. There’s no way the water is hot; it’s just her. 

 

She uncrosses the other.

 

Violet’s eyes widen. Her jaw drops. “Oh. My god,” she says.

 

Clementine panics, furrowing her brows.”What?”

 

Violet wades toward the dock, fear dripping through every square inch of her face. “You.” she pulls herself onto the dock. “You did not tell me you were bitten.”

 

Clementine’s heart thuds for a second before relief floods her face. “Oh.” She smiles. “I wasn’t bitten.”

 

“Then?” Violet points to her arm. “When would that even have happened?”

 

Clementine brings her forearm up to her mouth, mimicking biting her arm, right on the place she bit herself, before snapping her hand up to her face, covering her mouth like she’d just said something horrible. Her eyes threaten to pop out of her head. She goes beet red. 

 

Violet’s face mirrors Clementine’s, whispering. “Clementine, the only time you’d need to bite your arm that hard is if you were trying to keep quiet.”

 

Dread overwhelms all of Clementine’s senses. “No. Nonononono, fuck,” she stutters. “Please. I didn’t even mean to bring it up. I’m sorry.”

 

“Clementine, it’s fine,” Violet assures, but her voice is still just as shaky as it was before. “Everyone does it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I just wasn’t expecting it is all.”

 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Clementine says. Tears threaten her. She hopes the lakewater can disguise them. “Fuck, I’m embarrassed. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

 

“We don’t have to talk about it. I just don’t get why you’re still worried about it. We can drop it. I won’t bring it up again.” Violet relaxes, her legs just barely spread on the dock.

 

Clementine closes her eyes. The tears force themselves out. She opens them again, unable to help herself. Violet’s body is slender and as pinkish-white as the rest of her. Her breasts are full at the bottom, her nipples a rose gold. Her abs peek through the skin of her stomach. She’s freckled across her chest, too. And she has a full golden-blonde bush of pubic hair- but not enough to cover everything. She’s perfect. She’s perfect. It should not feel this right to look at her. It should not feel this natural.

 

“Clem?”

 

Clementine’s eyes pivot to the dock beside her. “It’s a big deal.” She blurts. “It’s a big deal because I was thinking of you.”

 

The horror washes over Clementine’s face. Her skin burns. She pulls herself out of the water, sniffling, ready to cry.

 

“Oh.” Violet whispers. She stares down at the water Clementine just left. If eyes could stab. 

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

 

“Clem-”

 

“-I’m just so confused. I’m just an emotional wreck. I don’t know what to do with myself-”

 

“-Clementine.”

 

Their eyes meet. Violet’s eyes are filled to the brim with concern. Clementine’s are filled to the brim with tears. They linger there. “It’s okay.”

 

“It doesn’t feel okay-”

 

“-I know it doesn’t-”

 

“-I don’t know why, I don’t know how,” a sob rips its way through her chest, “but it isn’t like me. It’s not me. I swear.”

 

“Clementine. I promise you haven’t upset me,” Violet says, her voice attempting to be soothing. “I mean, look at what we were just doing.”

 

“Exactly! Violet, I’m not gay.” She inhales. She inhales. She inhales. “I’m not. I just.”

 

Violet hands Clementine her shirt. She just grips it in her hand like a vice.

 

Once, when she was little, her parents took her to the circus. One of the animals just didn’t want to get out of its cage. It romped around the stage and everyone just kind of scoffed at it.

 

Clementine feels like that animal.

 

“It shouldn’t- it shouldn’t feel so right to be like this with you. I shouldn’t want this so badly.” Clementine traces her finger along a board in the dock. 

 

“What do you want me to do, Clementine?” Violet’s voice is a hushed whisper.

 

_ I want you to kiss me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to kiss me. I want to feel your lips up against mine, just once. Just to be sure. I want to taste you on my lips as I back away. I want you to pull me back. I want to hear the sounds it makes. I want to hear the sounds I cause you to make. I want to feel how warm your body gets. I want to feel your breath as our tongues swirl. I want to leave my hands wherever they land. I want to pull you closer. Closer. Closer- _

 

“I want to drop it,” Clementine lies. 

 

Violet opens her arms, cocking her head. Clementine accepts her hug. Their bodies are pressing together, wet and slick. How is she so soft. How is she so warm. So warm. “No hard feelings, okay?”

 

She could do it. She could back away and kiss her. She could forget about all this processing shit. Forget about her fear. Forget about everything as she just feels her. Forget. Forget more and more as their lips press together, over and over. For just a second, she feels like she could do it. Just kiss her.

 

But she doesn’t. 

 

“Okay.”

 

They gather their things, checking the dock at least five times before they leave. Clementine puts her hat back on. She doesn’t even remember taking it off. The sun begins to set as they depart, as it usually does by the time they’re ready to return from whatever they’re doing. It paints the sky in golds and reds. Violet reassures Clementine along the way that everything is okay- _ no, I promise, it is _ \- but Clementine’s body never feels any less hot.

 

Not even when the sun sets completely.

 

Not even when Louis comes running toward them, tears flooding his eyes.

 

He rams through the gate, making his way to them with ragged breathing. He braces his arms on his knees, trying to catch his breath. 

 

Violet looks down at him. “What? What is it?” Her eyes are wide, her mouth agape as Clementine watches.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Violet. Fuck-”

 

“Just tell me.”

 

Louis looks down, heaving, before he looks up again. “Violet. Brody is dead.”

 

Violet drops all her things. “No.”

 

“She’s gone, Violet,” Louis says, beginning to cry in front of her. “She’s gone.”

 

Clementine only becomes hotter as she becomes the one to comfort Violet.

 

She only becomes hotter as she gets Violet and herself into dry clothes, finding clean sheets for their beds.

 

She only becomes hotter when she tells AJ to stay with Tenn tonight. No, I’m not crying. Yes, everything is okay. Yes, I know Brody is gone. Yes, Violet is very upset. 

 

She’s on fire when Violet settles down in AJ’s bed, and she’s in flames when Violet hides her face in her hands, crying again. Her face contorting into the most upsetting, pained expressions Clementine’s seen, and Clementine can’t keep herself from sobbing with her. Holding her close, but it’s not the same. Not how she wanted.

 

Everyone cries that night.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longest chapter yet and the one I'm most proud of. 
> 
> I plan on trying to add a new chapter every night.
> 
> (y'all already know I'm gonna tease the fuck out of the first kiss ;) )


	4. The Bereaved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to kiss her. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to hold her hand or be romantic. To look her in the eyes and not feel an overwhelming guilt. To touch her and feel her and be close.
> 
> Clementine takes care of a grieving Violet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! I know I said I'd post this chapter last night but I had horrible pain and had to go to sleep early. But don't worry, I'm posting another chapter tonight as well and you're gonna get a surprise :3
> 
> Song recommendation: Winter- Daughter

Several days pass with Clementine taking charge of Violet’s health. Maybe a week later, she creeps down the hallway with a bowl of dinner, the last remaining glints of sunlight peeking through the corridor. Her chest rises and falls with her breath as she opens the door, just a crack, before opening it all the way.

 

The nightstand is cluttered with bowls and silverware, Violet’s small frame swallowed whole by her sheets. Her blonde head pokes out of the top as she faces the wall, not moving an inch as Clementine enters, sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“You don’t have to take care of me, you know,” Violet says, voice raspy.

 

“Well, you’re not gonna take care of yourself, so I kind of do,” Clementine says.

 

Violet sits up to face her, her hair a tangled mess. She hasn’t brushed it since the lake. She offers a forced smile to Clementine, reaching out to put the bowl in her lap. It’s a soothing warmth in contrast to the cold settling outside. She starts shoving spoonfuls of food into her mouth with half her usual speed. Tears well up in her eyes and her lip trembles.

 

“Ah, fuck, I’m sorry,” she starts, shoving the bowl onto the nightstand. “I wasn’t even that close to her anymore. It just hurts.”

 

“Grief is a complex thing, Vi,” Clementine says. And that’s the first time she’s used that nickname.

 

“I’m just sick of people dying all the time, Clem. It’s exhausting. And people expect you to just move on but I can’t do that anymore.”

 

“I don’t expect you to move on.” Clementine takes off her hat, slinging it over Violet’s head. Fuck, she’s so cute. Her blush. Her lips. “Aww.”

 

Violet huffs through her tears, a smile inching its way up her face. Their eyes meet. “Clementine. Promise me something.”

 

Clementine’s heart lurches. “Yes?”

 

“Don’t leave me.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

“No,” Violet says, straightening her back. “People come and go. They die. They find others. They just leave. Don’t do that. Stay with me.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere, Violet,” Clementine assures. 

 

For a moment, Clementine thinks she could be the one Violet has a crush on. But only for a moment. She can’t be. She hasn’t known her that long.   

 

“Violet, I have a question,” Clementine says, her voice hesitant.

 

“Shoot,” she replies.

 

“How did you know you were gay?”

 

“Oh, geez,” Violet says, settling down on her back. “I just couldn’t keep my eyes off of Minnie. I loved everything about her. Even the weird things, like how her nose crinkled when she smiled. I wanted to be around her all the time.” They meet eyes. “I wanted to kiss her and never stop. I just knew I could spend the rest of time with her and never get bored.”

 

Clementine swallows. Does that sound like her? 

 

“Did you freak out at first? Like, did it upset you?”

 

“Not really,” Violet says. “It just felt… right.”

 

Clementine thinks of how it felt to look at Violet’s body. Intense. Warm. Hazy. The same as how it feels to look at her now; a tiny body all wrapped up in sheets. 

 

Clementine swallows. “I… um. Didn’t want to bring it up again.” Violet meets her gaze. Clementine looks away. “But I’m sorry. For crying on you and such. For being an emotional rollercoaster.”

 

“I swear, Clementine, it’s fine,” Violet begins. “And I’m sorry, too.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For bringing it up. Or implying that you’re not straight. It was out of line.”

 

“Well, it’s not the same thing as someone implying you’re not gay when you are.”

 

“That’s not the point.” Violet sits up again. “I upset you. Regardless of the context. I’m sorry.”

 

Clementine smiles. 

 

“Are you gonna finish your food?”

 

Violet lies her face in her hands. “I don’t have much of an appetite.”

 

“I don’t blame you.”

 

She’s so small, sitting beside Clementine. Vulnerable. Clementine’s stomach drops. The candle is lit beside them, casting a golden glow over the room. 

 

“Clem, I’m the one who’s an emotional wreck. I haven’t been out of this bed in days. I’ve been crying all the time. Don’t worry about yourself, okay? About upsetting me.”

 

Clementine can’t focus. Whenever she tries to distract herself with a different thought, the same ones bubble back up. How does she know for sure that she’s not gay? How does she know for sure that the thoughts she’s having are just part of normal teenage development? How does she know she wouldn’t allow Violet to kiss her if she tried?

 

“I just can’t help it, I guess.” Clementine scratches at her arm.

 

“Can’t help what?”

 

“Can’t help but worry.”

 

“Aw, Clem,” she says, shedding her vest. “You can tell me anything.”

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

 

Violet jokingly does a full-body eyeroll. “Of course.”

 

Clementine upturns her eyebrows. “Did you ever have a crush on Brody?”

 

Violet scoffs. “Nope.”

 

“You two were just so close before. From what you’ve told me.”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

Clementine’s breath moves her entire chest. “I want to know why you fell out.” Clementine focuses on the sheets. “Did she have a problem with your sexuality?”

 

“She didn’t. Surprisingly, given her southern upbringing.”

 

“So you don’t know why you fell out?”

 

“People drift apart, I guess.”

 

“I should stop prodding,” Clementine says, eyes darting to the door.

 

“If someone’s your true friend, they won’t care about your sexuality,” Violet says. 

 

“I guess that’s true.”

 

Violet is dirty. Grease causes her hair to form in strings, her face shiny and slick. Her lips are dry and cracked. Her eyes are pink- red around the edges. Not exactly anything short of what you’d expect from the apocalypse, but she’s let herself go these past few days. If the kids can’t manage to at least sponge-bathe, they wash their face to look somewhat presentable. Violet does nothing to help herself. 

 

She’s exposed. She’s vulnerable, in a different way than she was at the lake. Vulnerable in the broken sense. 

 

Despite this, Clementine looks at her no different than she did before.

 

“Violet. The lake.”

 

“What about it?”

 

“What was that?”

 

Violet’s lips part, her breath exiting and entering through them. “It was nothing.”

 

Clementine’s face falls. “Nothing?”

 

“It was nothing, because we don’t feel that way about each other.”

 

Clementine’s stomach turns. It meant nothing. It meant nothing because there’s no way she has feelings for her friend. And Violet has feelings for someone else. It hurts- the kind of pain that makes you go weak. It hurts because she wants to have feelings for her, almost as much as she doesn’t want to. 

 

Violet’s crush is an curious figure to Clementine. What does Violet look for in a girl? Does she look for independence? Strength? Humor? Does she like girls with curly hair? With brown eyes?

 

“Clem, I am so tired. Is it alright if we talk later?”

 

She can’t tell if Violet is actually tired enough to need to stop talking or if she’s making excuses, but she goes with it anyway.

 

“As long as you don’t sleep in that,” Clementine says, gesturing to the same outfit Violet’s worn the past few days.

 

“Oh, come on. Cut me some slack,” she jokes.

 

“Should I leave?”

 

“What?”

 

“While you change clothes. Should I leave?”

 

Their eyes meet. Violet shakes her head no. “But sit on that bed, please?” she asks, pointing to Clementine’s bed. “Or just… I don’t know. Stand somewhere.”

 

Clementine goes and sits on her bed, looking toward the door as Violet starts to undress. Tracing every board. Inspecting the rusted doorknob. Comparing the brown boards to every other brown in the room. 

 

“Can you hand me my clothes, please?”

 

Clementine scans the room for her outfit- anything suitable for pajamas- and balls it up in her hands, closing her eyes as she shoves it toward Violet.

 

She just holds her hand there, waiting, and opens her eyes when Violet neglects to grab her clothes. 

 

Her spine is a faint ridge on her back, which is just as freckled as her shoulders. 

 

She turns around, grabbing the clothes before Clementine looks at the door again.

Once she gets dressed, she hands Clementine her hat, and Clementine sets it next to the dishes on the nightstand. 

 

They lie on their beds, facing the bunks above them. 

 

“Thanks for taking care of me, Clementine.”

 

“No problem,” she replies.

 

“I mean it, Clem. Nobody else would if you didn’t.”

 

Clementine lets that sink in, feeling her chest rise and fall with her breath. Does that just make her a good friend?

 

“I’m falling asleep,” Clementine says, her vision blurring at the sides. She offers a tired giggle. “I’m sorry. I just can’t stay awake.”

 

“Me either,” Violet says, closing her eyes. And Clementine assumes she’s asleep when she doesn’t talk for a few minutes.

 

Clementine blows out the candle, tucking herself in.

 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to kiss her. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to hold her hand or be romantic. To look her in the eyes and not feel an overwhelming guilt. To touch her and feel her and be close.

 

But for now, Clementine can’t stay in one single position for more than twenty seconds. She finds herself turning on her side to look at Violet every time. And then she faces the wall and tries to sleep. She can’t. So she looks at Violet’s back again.

 

Then Violet flips over. It’s the first time Clementine’s seen her peaceful since Brody died. Her lidded eyes just barely held closed. Her nose twitching as she dreams. She wants to be closer to her. So close that she can feel her breath. So close that they can exchange body heat.

 

When Clementine is finally able to dream, that’s what she dreams about.

 

They are back in the water. Stripped as they were. And when Violet sees Clementine’s bite mark, she only smiles- just at one corner of her mouth- and wades closer. Because she knows. She knows Clementine thought of her, and knowing excites her. She knows how much Clementine needs to feel her, and she knows how long Clementine’s waited for this.

 

So she corners Clementine into the dock, forcing her to get out and sit on it, exposing her whole body. Her nudity causes a heat to spread throughout her, and Violet waits for her in the water, scanning every inch of her before Clementine ducks her head down.

 

And they are so close. Closer than they were in the pantry. Closer than they were in the water before. Violet closes her eyes, knowing. Clementine closes her eyes, knowing too, and Violet’s forearms come to rest on the dock as their lips finally meet. As Clementine cups her cheeks in her hands. 

 

And she hopes Violet dreamt of her, too.

 


	5. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clementine smiles and settles back into the bed, and it’s as though Violet never woke up. She lies there fast asleep, facing Clementine, again close enough to kiss. Close enough to feel each other’s breath.
> 
> Clementine and Violet become closer than they've ever been before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry once again for not uploading on schedule, I was LITERALLY DYING of whatever illnesses I have, hence the chapter is short but hopefully it's still worth reading. I know a lot of you have been waiting for it. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes.
> 
> Thanks for all the feedback, by the way! Every time I get a comment my lil heart jumps lol
> 
> Song recommendation: Clams Casino- I'm God

Violet’s first love had ginger hair and white skin. 

 

Red like the fire in front of them. Everyone else eats and chats amongst themselves, Violet already done with her food. Clementine picks at hers. 

 

What was Minnie like? Was she as sarcastic as Violet? What other things did Violet like about her? Is Violet’s new crush similar to her?

 

Clementine doesn’t feel it’s her place to ask. She doesn’t know how she’d deal with knowing for certain it’s not her, even though she doesn’t have feelings for Violet. She has a curiosity for Violet, but not feelings.

 

Curiosity. What was Violet like before the outbreak? Was she sweeter than she is now? Has this hardened her? It seems to have hardened everybody, including Clementine.

 

Clementine, who got dragged into the apocalypse when she was only a small child. Who was still looked after by adults for half of the apocalypse so far. Who watched as her parents trudged around as walkers; who shot her own best friend and guardian to keep him from becoming one. 

 

“Vi, do you know how to shoot a gun?” Violet’s always using a meat cleaver or some other sort of knife to take out walkers.

 

“I imagine I’d be able to figure out how if I tried, but I’ve never been taught by anybody.” Clementine and Violet’s legs touch as they both face the fire.

 

“Do you want me to show you?”

 

“Tomorrow? Deal.”

 

Oh, how it’d feel to guide her hand. Stand behind her, pressed up to her back as she helps her to aim. How warm she’d be. 

 

The fire casts a glow around the courtyard like Clementine’s candle. 

 

Although Clementine didn’t know Brody or Marlon well, it still feels like something is missing now that they’re gone. And the way they died agitates Clementine- apparently they’d attacked each other in the cellar and both turned into walkers. Nobody knows who killed whom first, but it’s assumed Brody was attacked by Marlon evidenced by her lack of bite marks. Only a blow to the head.

 

That is, before the bullet created another one.

 

Now the group has no leader, and everyone is still deciding who is to take over. It’s a toss up between Louis and Violet, so they’ve been leading together until it’s final who will stay, but that causes them to be exhausted long before they used to be. How did Marlon do it?

 

Violet can’t keep herself awake, dozing off next to Clementine as she continues to eat, and she stops so as not to wake her. Violet’s head hangs low, almost reaching her chest. What would it be like if Violet fell asleep on Clementine’s shoulder? 

 

She shifts awake and looks at Clementine, bleary-eyed and confused.

 

“You fell asleep.”

 

She nods, face strained, and yawns with a squeak. “I’m gonna go to bed.”

 

If only she weren’t so tired, they could spend the night away talking like they used to. 

 

“Alright. See you in the morning?” Clementine asks.

 

“Yep.” 

 

Clementine remains by the fire, heating her face. She just wants to know. Wants to know what it feels like. If it would feel right or if she’d be nervous or if Violet would enjoy it, too. How soft would her lips be? Just once. Just once, and she will be fine.

 

And then she notices Violet’s rainbow pin lying in the dirt. She picks it up, swiping off the dirt with her thumb, and it’s strange knowing it’s hers and she’s holding it. 

 

She traverses the hallway to bring it back. A familiar chill settles in the corridor, but despite this, she’s still hot. She’s going to see Violet sleeping again. Somehow that causes her heart to thud.

 

It only thuds harder and faster when she opens the door to find Violet sitting on the edge of her bed, wide awake. She whips her head to the door, first looking at Clementine’s feet and then her face, burning hot.

 

“You’re not sleeping?” Clementine leans in the doorframe, pin nestled within her closed hand.

 

“I have a lot on my mind.” Violet stares at the floor below, her face falling.

 

“I found your pin.”

 

Violet looks at her vest, where her pin should be, and then back at Clementine. “Thanks. I didn’t even know it was gone.”

 

Clementine sits on the edge of Violet’s bed and hands her the pin. 

 

Their hands touch, and Clementine doesn’t take hers back.

 

Her hands are rough, just as she remembers from holding her hand the whole way home. But the feeling is not the same.

 

She could do it now. Violet’s looking right at her. Her cheekbones. Her freckles. Her glassy green eyes and her lips, just barely parted. Violet’s breath is on her face.

 

Fuck it.

 

She looks down at Violet’s lips, closing her eyes. This is happening, right now. She is doing this on her own volition.

 

And then her courage drops. Violet’s hand is warm in hers. She’s just too beautiful. She can’t. It’d be too much. She can’t. It could ruin their friendship. She can’t. She has to be straight. She can’t.

 

The bite mark.

 

The pantry closet.

 

Violet’s breath. Her warmth.

 

The lake. Shedding each piece of clothing one by one. Their slick, nude bodies pressed together as Violet comforts her.

 

Clementine squeezes Violet’s hand, closing her eyes and tilting her head. She presses their foreheads together and opens her eyes again. Violet’s eyes are closed. She’s expecting this. She wants this, too.

 

Just once.

 

Clementine inhales sharply as their lips touch. Violet is soft. And they press together harder, holding it there. Soft. Warm. Small. It’s not how Clementine imagined lips would feel. They’re more natural somehow. Her face is hot; the kind of hot you feel when you say something you’re not supposed to.

 

As though her mind were lagging, her thoughts catch up to her. She is kissing Violet. Their lips are pressed together. Their hands are threaded together, the pin falling somewhere. 

 

As fast as it started, it ends. Clementine backs away, eyes wide open.

 

“Fuck. Violet, I’m so sorry.” 

 

“Sorry for what?” she asks, and Clementine’s heart jumps at how husky her voice has gotten.

 

“I shouldn’t have kissed you. You have feelings for someone.”

 

Even though it felt so right. Even though their lips fit together. Even though thinking of Violet makes Clementine so warm. Even though she thought she’d just need one kiss and that’s it. She wants more. She has to feel her again.

 

“Clementine, I have feelings for  _ you. _ You’re the reason why I haven’t fallen asleep.”

 

Surely she didn’t hear that right. “You what?”

 

Violet’s blush takes over her cheeks. “I have a crush on you.”

 

Clementine takes her hand back. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

Violet looks down at Clementine’s hand. “You were so confused. It wouldn’t be fair. I didn’t want to make you even more confused.”

 

“Violet, I’m scared.”

 

Violet upturns her eyebrows. “Scared? Why?”

 

Clementine swallows. “Because I want to kiss you again,” she whispers, and she feels yet another cry nipping at her eyes.

 

“Can you tell me why that scares you?” Violet sits so her legs are facing Clementine’s.

 

“That means I’m gay.”

 

“And?” Violet offers a reassuring smile.

 

Clementine’s breathing labors.  _ The people that matter won’t care about your sexuality.  _ Or something like that.

 

What would Lee think? The thought hits Clementine right in the gut.

 

Clementine stutters. “Can we do that again?”

 

Just one more time.

 

Violet closes her eyes this time, tilting her head and capturing Clementine’s lips. Clementine’s hands find Violet’s hips, and Violet cups Clementine’s cheeks. Violet smells like smoke, just as she did before. Although Clementine can’t see what Violet looks like, pressed up against her, imagining how peaceful she must be only makes Clementine want to kiss her harder.

 

And they do. Violet whimpers as their mouths open and close, and heat spreads throughout Clementine. She’s making her squirm, right now. And kissing really does make  _ that noise. _ It echoes off the walls.

 

They back away, foreheads still touching. “You’ve seriously never done this before?” Violet asks.

 

“I haven’t. Why?”

 

“I wouldn’t think so. This comes so natural to you,” Violet whispers.

 

Just once? If this is how it feels to kiss a girl, Clementine never wants to stop. She sniffles.

 

“Clem, why are you crying?”

 

“They’re happy tears.”

 

“Because we’ve kissed?” Violet asks.

 

“And it just feels so right. I was so scared,” she starts. “And I didn’t know how to be with myself knowing I might be gay.”

 

“And now?”

 

“I could just kiss you forever.”

 

Violet smiles, catching their lips again. And Clementine whines this time when Violet’s tongue finds its way into her mouth, slick and smooth. She tastes like peaches. So wonderful that Clementine would be fine if that’s all she tasted for the rest of her life.

  
  


After several minutes pass, they separate, lips plump from kissing. Violet smiles, eyes still closed.

 

Clementine giggles. “Why does that feel so good?”

 

“That’s what I thought the first time I kissed a girl.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Violet whispers. “The feeling never goes away.”

 

“Vi, how long have you had a crush on me?”

 

Violet takes a couple breaths to find her answer. “The first conversation we ever had.”

 

Clementine’s expression brightens. “Seriously?”

 

“Yeah. There’s just something about you.” Violet shifts to lie down on the bed. Clementine joins her.

 

“I don’t know what it is about you that’s so… special. I feel as though we share a soul.”

Violet smiles, then looks away. “So, about what I said the other day.”

 

Clementine is confused. “What?”

 

“That what we did at the lake meant nothing.”

 

“Oh.” Clementine waits.

Violet exhales. “It didn’t mean nothing.” she pauses. “Not for me.”

 

Clementine remains silent, unsure of what to say.

 

“Clem?”

 

Clementine smiles. “I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Nope,” Clementine says.

 

Violet smiles, growing tired. “I didn’t tell you this, but you look incredible.”

 

As Violet falls asleep in front of her, she considers leaving. She takes another look at her face before sitting up on the bed, beginning to turn around.

 

And then Violet wraps her hand around Clementine’s wrist, eyes still closed.

 

A little voice croaks out, like a child pleading. “Stay?”

 

Clementine smiles and settles back into the bed, and it’s as though Violet never woke up. She lies there fast asleep, facing Clementine, again close enough to kiss. Close enough to feel each other’s breath.

 

How hadn’t she done this sooner? The feeling is indescribable. Maybe like discovering a part of the world nobody’s seen before. Maybe like having the best dream you’ve ever had happen in real life.

 

Although she’d told herself she would only do this once, it feels so good that she knows she’s never gonna stop. Even if she tried, the urge would overwhelm her, just like it did before. And for once, the thought of never stopping doesn’t scare her. Because it felt so right. Because Violet is so rough around the edges, yet so soft and comfortable. 

 

She dreams of kissing her again. More confident. Sure that this is what she wants, knowing this is what Violet wants, and feeling no need to stop. And she hopes she gets to see Violet’s body unclothed again. She hopes she gets to touch her. To feel her under her hands and lips. To see what noises she can cause her to make.

 

And for once, the thought is soothing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it finally fucking happened bois, lemme know if I did this adorable pair any justice!


	6. Out in the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It's been longer than usual because I'm dealing with chronic illness unfortunately and got an infection on top of that, but I'm finally feeling better and was able to introduce a new chapter to my lineup! 
> 
> Song recommendation: Aurora- Murder Song

Clementine opens her eyes in a daze to find Violet searching the ground.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Looking for my pin.”

 

Oh, yeah. They started kissing and it fell somewhere.

 

They started kissing. That was a thing that happened.

 

“Ah! Here it is.” Violet stands up, facing Clementine as she puts the pin back on her vest.

 

It all wasn’t just a dream. She’d held Violet’s calloused hand and kissed her lips. 

 

The sun shines high in the sky, way past morning.

“What time is it?” Clementine asks.

 

“I don’t know, twelve?” Violet sits on the bed’s edge.

 

“Shit.”

 

“Why are you upset? It’s not like you have to be anywhere.”

 

Clementine rolls over to face her. “I was gonna teach you how to use a gun today.”

 

“The day is still young!” Violet smirks.

 

“And don’t you have, I don’t know, leader duties to do?”

 

“I took the day off.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Clementine can’t help but watch as Violet changes clothes. Violet faces away from her, but even that is tempting. To come up behind her and kiss her…

 

All of this is moving so fast. Just the other day, Clementine was trying to convince herself she’s not into girls, and now she’s all over Violet. Or at least she wants to be.

 

“Hey, Clem?” Violet turns around, facing her.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I don’t want what we did last night to be a one-off thing.”

 

Clementine smiles. “Good, because neither do I.”

 

Violet’s face brightens. “You don’t?”

 

“Do I make you think otherwise?”

 

Violet sits on the edge of the bed again. “No, I’m just still in shock is all.”

 

“I feel like I’m living in some sort of dream.” Clementine sits up on the bed. 

 

“Is it a good dream?”

 

“The best one,” Clementine replies. “But seriously. I can’t believe this is happening.”

 

Violet leans her head against the ladder. “You didn’t think I liked you?”

 

“No! No, I did not.”

 

Violet huffs. “I didn’t think I could make it any more obvious.”

 

Clementine props herself up on her arms, smiling.

  
  
  


-

 

The girls wade their way through leaves until they reach an old camp. Judging by the state of the tents and other junk, it’s long been abandoned.

 

“Can you find me some bottles?” Clementine picks one off the ground, setting it down on a bench.

 

“Do cans work?” Violet’s raspy voice calls out.

 

“Cans work!”

 

She’s about to have her arms around Violet. The thought makes her heart flutter.

 

“How many?” Violet asks.

 

“Like… three?”

 

“Oops.”

 

“What?” Clementine turns around to face her, partially obstructed by trees.

 

“I have like six.”

 

Clementine smiles. “Bring ‘em on over!”

 

Violet walks like a boy. Clementine can’t get over that. She trains her eyes on Violet as she walks over, placing all of the cans in a line on the bench. They face each other, waiting.

 

“Alright, so how do I do this shit?” Violet stands at attention.

 

Clementine finds herself unable to talk.

 

“Hello? Earth to Clem?”

 

“Sorry. Um, come here.”

 

Violet saunters over. The gun still in Clementine’s back pocket, she stands arms’ width apart, admiring Violet’s face. How her hair falls on it.

 

She closes the distance, wrapping her hands around Violet’s waist. Violet smiles. Clementine’s lips meet hers for a couple seconds.

 

“What a way to start off our training session,” Violet says.

 

“I thought it appropriate, with you looking the way you look and all.”

 

Violet jokingly rolls her eyes.

 

Clementine pulls the gun from her back pocket, holding it with her arms wrapped around Violet. 

 

“Okay, so hold it like this…”

 

Violet is warm. She wraps her hands over Clementine’s, mimicking her hand position. Clementine’s face is right by her neck. Breathing on her. Clementine is sure that Violet can feel her heartbeat through her back.

 

“Now, if the safety weren’t turned on, you’d aim for a can or a bottle like this, but the safety is on.”

 

“So?” Violet adds more distance between her feet.

 

“I’ll turn it off.”

 

Clementine feels Violet’s chest expand with her breath.

 

“Oh, geez,” Violet says.

 

“Having second thoughts?”

 

“I’m gonna do it once, but I think that’s it.” Violet’s grip firms on Clementine’s hands. 

 

“Okay, keep your hands here. I’m going to cover your ears because this is gonna be loud.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Violet’s determination makes Clementine’s heart swell.

 

“Now, aim at a can and shoot when you’re ready.”

 

Clementine rests her hands on Violet’s ears. She can’t help imagining being on the other side of her, holding her face. Without the gun, of course.

 

And then Violet pulls the trigger with a booming crack. 

 

“Awesome!” Clementine says.

 

Violet turns the safety back on and hans Clementine the gun, her face falling.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Clementine picks up on this. “Are you okay, Vi?”

 

Violet stares at her for a second. “Yeah, I’m good.”

 

Clementine furrows her brows. “Did I do something wrong?”

 

Violet looks away. “I never told you why I got sent to Ericson’s, did I?”

 

Clementine stutters. “No.” She checks the safety and puts the gun in her back pocket again.

 

“ _ Can  _ I tell you?”

 

Clementine forces a smile. “Go ahead.”

 

Violet draws a breath. “My grandma killed herself, right in front of me. She shot herself with a rifle.”

 

Clementine’s eyes widen. “Jesus Christ. Why the hell would they send you to a boarding school for that?”

 

Violet forces her own uncomfortable smile. “I didn’t do anything. Didn’t call Mom, the police- anything. I just let her do it. I wanted to watch cartoons. I was eleven.”

 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Vi,” Clementine starts. “Why’d you agree to do this then, if you have a thing about guns?”

 

Violet huffs, shaking her head, incredulous about herself. “I thought I could get over it. I just wanted your arms around me. Thought it could be romantic. God I’m an idiot.”

 

Clementine takes a step closer. “You know, there’s other ways to get my arms around you without it involving a gun.” Clementine cocks her eyebrow, teasing.

 

“Yeah, yeah, hence me calling myself an idiot.”

 

Violet stands with her arms crossed, eyes trained on the ground below her. “Hey, hey, don’t feel bad.” Clementine offers a reassuring smile.

 

“I’m just… angry with myself, I guess.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

Violet sighs. “I should be able to say what I want and don’t more. It’s not that I didn’t want to do this, it’s just that… I should’ve said something. But I was afraid you would think I’m some kind of freak.”

 

“Me, of all people?” Clementine takes another step towards her. “I could never.”

 

“Really?” Violet lifts her head and her spirits. 

 

Clementine just shakes her head and smiles, now close enough to see the mossy green glints in Violet’s eyes.

 

“What do you want?” Clementine whispers.

 

“What?” Violet whispers back.

 

“What do you want? Right now,” Clementine clarifies.

 

Violet’s tongue darts out to wet her lips. She throws her vision to the ground again, unsure of herself, and then picks her face back up again to look at Clementine. Her eyelids droop to halfway down her eyes. Oh.

 

“Kiss me.”

 

Clementine’s eyelids fall, too, as she fulfills her fantasy of cupping Violet’s cheeks and their lips connect. Violet is soft as ever, smoky as ever, gentle as ever- her hands finding Clementine’s hips, steadying her. She still tastes sweet. Nothing about Violet has changed, and nothing about Clementine’s reaction has, either.

 

Heat spreads throughout her. Her heart jumps behind her ribcage. Her breathing comes scattered and ragged as she feels Violet’s warm face through her hands. 

 

What if she took this further? What if she trailed her hands lower? What if she felt Violet’s silken smooth skin under her hands and trailed down, down, down until she found a spot that makes Violet whimper?

 

Not now. But later, for sure.

 

They separate, Clementine still holding Violet’s face. Delicate, as though she were holding water in her palms. Violet’s turning into putty. She takes her hand up to Clementine’s wrist and wraps her fingers around it, not trying to move her or hold her there, but just holding on. 

 

“This is insane,” Clementine whispers.

 

“You’re insane,” Violet teases.

 

Clementine snorts.

 

“Oh, how I wish we weren’t in the woods right now,” Violet says.

 

“What?” Clementine asks. Violet just looks at her a little longer, licking her lips again. “Oh.”

 

“Is your mind in the same place?” Violet says, her voice low as she starts to sway her hips, still holding onto Clementine.

 

“Absolutely,” Clementine whispers, studying Violet’s closed eyes. 

 

Leaves rustle in the distance, too much to be a squirrel. Then there’s the sound of cracking- not like a gun. Maybe an axe? The girls separate, trying to find the sounds’ source. It echoes even in the thickets of the forest. 

 

Clementine draws her gun, skirting around trees to find a short-haired girl standing taller than a mountainside, Violet trailing behind her with her meat cleaver in a readying stance. They move so as not to create sound, sneaking up behind her like a bad memory. Half her head is shaved.

 

Clementine takes her opportunity and holds her in a headlock, the barrel of her gun up to the girl’s temple. Violet’s expression drops. 

 

“Move and you get shot,” Clementine drawls.

 

The girl somehow still wrestles herself free, Clementine not wanting to shoot someone not holding a weapon, and the girl turns around to face them.

 

She has fire-red hair and white skin, spattered with freckles. Deep green eyes and a button nose. 

 

Violet drops her meat cleaver, speed-walking over to the girl, concern written all over her face. They meet in a tight embrace.

 

“Violet, what the fuck is going on?”

 

Violet doesn’t answer her. “Holy shit. I thought you were dead. What the fuck! This is a dream. This isn’t happening.”

 

“Violet,” Clementine presses. “Who is this?”

 

“It’s Minnie,” she says, stepping back to look at her face.

 

Minnie, who everyone thought was dead.

 

Minnie, who was Violet’s first love.

 

Minnie, who now just hugged Violet.

 

Minnie, who might be a problem.

 

That night, Violet goes to bed early, and not in the same bed as Clementine. Clementine stays awake near all night, eyes wet, looking over at the girl she kissed just earlier that day. The girl she hoped to have more of a future with. The girl she thought she’d one day call her lover.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a whirlwind of few words! Stick around, though. It gets good. I promise.


	7. Good Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE! REMEMBER! THAT! VIOLET! AND! CLEMENTINE! ARE! BOTH! ABOVE! AGE! 18! IN! THIS! FIC!  
> That information will be relevant to the chapter!  
> Sorry for the wait. I'm sick. Chronically. It happens. But I got even more sick of staring at the same paragraph over and over so I got my boxers out of a bunch and wrote the damn chapter. It's pretty long, but it's worth it. In my opinion, anyway. Even though it's not exactly as I'd have liked it- I've done better, could do better, and I plan on writing more of these two, so it's whatever. I didn't even proofread it so if there's a mistake it's not because of ignorance.  
> Anyway.
> 
> Song recommendation- SHAED: Trampoline

Violet turns in her bed to face Clementine, startled both by the fact that they didn’t sleep together and that Clementine’s been crying.

 

“Fuck. I didn’t know you were upset. Shit,” Violet says, rousing out of a sound sleep to sit on the edge of her bed. 

 

“Violet,” Clementine starts, like she’s about to explain to a child why they’ve been put in time-out. “You cried the whole way home yesterday. I wanted to comfort you and you didn’t want to have any of it. You didn’t even want to sleep in the same bed like we’ve been doing, and we met your ex girlfriend who we  _ thought was dead _ in the middle of the forest.” The tears begin to roll again. “How could I not be upset?”

 

The hurt shows on Violet’s face. “Clementine, I just needed some space. I don’t feel any differently about you now.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’m not in love with Minnie, Clem,” she begins, going to sit on Clementine’s bed. “That Minnie we met in the forest… that’s not the Minnie I remember. And even if she were, I’ve already mourned her. I’ve already gotten over her. It’s not happening in a million years, and I’m sorry I didn’t make that absolutely known to you.”

 

Clementine just looks at her, breathing.

 

“I am so, so sorry. I just needed time to think about what happened.”

 

Clementine sits up. “Could you be a little more clear about that in the future? Because here I was thinking that you were going back to her.” Violet’s face falls. “Sorry. That was harsher than I meant it.”

 

“No, it’s okay. I really should have talked things out with you.”

 

They both smile, just at one corner of their lips.

 

Violet sighs. “I wanna be able to prove it to you somehow.”

 

“You don’t have to prove anything.”

 

Violet stares at the bunk above, thinking. “You know what, there’s something I’ve always wanted to do with someone I care about. Care a lot about,” she corrects. “But I never got the chance.”

 

Clementine swallows past a lump in her throat.

 

“Do you wanna dance with me?”

 

Clementine can’t help but smile fully. “Right now?”

 

“Um, if you’d like,” Violet says.

 

Clementine answers by standing up, brushing out her clothes. Violet stands too.

 

Clementine giggles. “God, I probably don’t look too good right now.”

 

Violet furrows her brows. “Why not?”

 

“I’ve been crying,” Clementine says, wiping off her face.

 

“So have I,” Violet says, moving to put her hands on Clementine’s shoulders. “And you look perfect.” She looks into her eyes.

 

Clementine puts her hands on Violet’s hips. They begin to sway back and forth, taking half-steps occasionally.

 

“Why were you crying on our way home, Vi?”

 

Violet’s gaze drops. “Emotions are… confusing.”

 

Clementine steps closer. “I know.”

 

“I just… I guess I didn’t imagine how much she’d changed, thinking she’s dead and all. It was like the final goodbye.” She looks at Clementine again. “The whole situation is so fucked.” Violet fixes her grip on Clementine’s shoulders.

 

“I guess we wouldn’t have known Marlon traded them in unless we found her.”

 

Violet wets her lips. “I’m just glad it wasn’t you.”

 

Clementine smiles and closes her eyes, leaning her head on Violet’s hand- nuzzling into it. She opens her eyes again to find Violet looking on in awe, misstepping a bit as she blinks her eyes back into focus.

 

“I’m sorry for making you cry last night,” Violet whispers.

 

Clementine keeps her cheek on Violet’s hand. “It’s okay. It was just a misunderstanding.”

 

“I just want you to know I care about you.” Violet takes a step closer. Their bodies are a step away from touching. “And I feel so bad that you’ve forgiven me this easily.”

 

“You’re not taking advantage of me. I’m just being a decent person, Vi.” Clementine hears Violet’s sigh.

 

Even with her eyes closed, Clementine knows Violet’s eyes are half-lidded. Her cheeks are growing rosy. She doesn’t have the liberty of hiding her nervous face behind a bunch of hair, with it being so short. So it hangs off her head and a couple strands land in front of her face like a curtain, but not nearly enough. Parted at the side like usual. And her lips aren’t touching, her two front teeth hiding behind them like pearls in an oyster. 

 

Violet takes another step, and their bodies touch.

 

They’re both warm, and their hearts are both beating heavy and fast. They sway a few more times before Clementine opens her eyes, and there Violet is, waiting. Just as she pictured.

 

“I know you care about me,” Clementine whispers. She presses their foreheads together.

 

“Sometimes I don’t feel like I do a great job of showing it,” Violet whispers back.

 

“Look at what you’re doing right now, though.”

 

Violet takes a step back to admire Clementine before pressing right back up to her. “I guess we’re dancing,” she jokes.

 

“You guess?” Clementine jokes back.

 

They stop swaying and Violet takes one of Clementine’s hands in hers, threading their fingers together. 

 

“I don’t want to stop doing things like this with you.” There’s a hint of a nervous laugh in Violet’s voice.

 

“Neither do I.”

 

“I just… Being with you like this- it feels so right. I don’t want it to stop, and I don’t know what I’d do without it.” Violet’s expression becomes strained.

 

“Violet?”

 

“What I’m saying is, I want to be your girlfriend. And I totally understand if you don’t want to, just-” Violet’s grip on Clementine’s hand loosens, then tightens again. “God, I sound so stupid. I just really, really like you, Clem.” Violet averts her gaze.

 

“You don’t sound stupid, Vi. And yes, a thousand times yes, I will be girlfriends with you.” Clementine thinks. “Your girlfriend? Girlfriends? Be your… girlfriend with you?” Violet laughs. “Whatever. You get the point.”

 

“Holy shit,” Violet giggles.

 

“That’s romantic,” Clementine jokes.

 

“I mean,” Violet mimics a wistful tone. “Holy shit.”

 

They break their smiles only to kiss, their warms lips opening and closing with a passion not present before in their kisses. Before they kissed to explore. Now, it’s as though they’re kissing for love.

 

They break away to sit on the edge of their bed, Violet holding Clementine’s face and just looking at her. She looks at her like she wants to kiss every inch of her face. Maybe every inch of her body. Clementine closes her eyes, leaning into the touch. Violet smooches the tip of her nose before dipping down to her lips again.

 

Their breath warms each other’s faces. Violet’s skin trembles under Clementine’s fingers as she slides her tongue into Clementine’s mouth; she still tastes like peaches. Violet whines when Clementine returns the favor, their tongues sliding against one another before Clementine sucks on Violet’s, just for a second. She takes it back with a wet sound.

 

Violet backs away, whispering. “Fuck.”

 

“What?” Clementine whispers, too.

 

“There’s no way you haven’t done this before.”

 

“There is a way. I guess I’m just a natural-born talent,” Clementine jokes.

 

“Shut up,” Violet jokes back.

 

Violet takes her vest off before reconnecting their lips. The sound echoes off the walls as it usually does. It’s a wet, slick sound, and feels just the same. Clementine’s breathing labors as Violet takes her bottom lip into her mouth. Clementine pulls Violet into her lap, relaxing under her weight.

 

It’s all too much. Violet’s taste, her silken smooth skin of her waist under Clementine’s fingers, the noises and whimpers she makes- maybe now is time. Maybe they could see each other in full. 

 

Clementine backs away to tug at the hem of Violet’s shirt, suggesting. Violet smiles, bunching it up over her head and tossing it onto the floor. 

 

Violet’s even prettier up close. All her constellations of freckles, her petite breasts and rosy nipples, the way her ribs shows when she inhales- she makes Clementine blush. And even as she trails her eyes lower- Violet’s toned stomach. Especially her arms. Light muscle, everywhere. Clementine wants to kiss every inch of her body.

 

Clementine pulls Violet in by her waist, kissing her again. Violet whimpers when Clementine runs her fingers up her back, pressing her nails in just barely as she drags them back down. What if she trailed them lower? What if she came around the front, and went down, down, down until she felt Violet’s boxers on her fingertips?

 

Shit, that’s right. Violet wears boxers.

 

The thought makes Clementine notice her wetness.

 

Clementine pulls apart their lips to allow Violet to take off her shirt. Clementine shivers under Violet’s touch, Violet’s hands lingering on Clementine’s shoulders as she takes her all in.

 

“Clementine, you are incredible.”

 

She blushes. “No.”

 

Violet meets her gaze. “You are. Don’t ever think otherwise.”

 

Clementine giggles as she kisses her again. This time, it’s tongue-heavy and filled to the brim with whines. A swipe of the tongue earns Clementine a whine. A scratch of Violet’s back earns Clementine a whine. Sucking on her tongue makes Violet whimper. 

 

“Violet, don’t you have work to do today?” Sweat beads up on Clementine’s forehead. Her skin glistens.

 

Violet’s bangs stick to her forehead. “Work can wait.”

 

Clementine inhales. Smoke. Sweat. “What will you tell them?”

 

Violet smirks. “I’ll tell them I was busy.” She swallows. “Or, if you’d prefer, I’ll tell them I was getting fucked by Clem.”

 

Clementine looks away. “Jesus, do you gotta be so forward?”

 

“My bluntness is what makes me special.”

 

Clementine’s face is hot.

 

“So you want to have sex with me?” Clementine stutters.

 

“I want you to fuck me, Clementine,” Violet whispers, running her fingers through Clementine’s hair. “Only if you want, of course.”

 

“Of course I do,” Clementine says. She exhales as she swipes a curl from her face. “How could I not?”

 

Violet giggles. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, you are beautiful, have a great sense of humor, are soft and sweet and I’d be stupid not to have sex with you.” Clementine huffs, as though it’s obvious. 

 

Violet sucks her bottom lip into her mouth to stifle her smile. She takes in every one of Clementine’s features. Her warm, friendly eyes. Her impossibly long and thick eyelashes. Her collarbones and impeccable complexion, both on face and body. She traces her eyes over the slope of her breasts, scanning over her deep brown nipples. Her flat stomach. 

 

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen.” Violet’s tongue darts out to wet her lips.

 

“You’re not even pretty to me, Violet. You’ve surpassed pretty. You’re just hot.” Clementine smirks.

 

Violet laughs. “Oh, yeah. A few days ago you were straight and now I’m hot as fuck. Deal.” She teases.

 

“Hey, fuck you,” Clementine teases back. “I’ve thought you were hot all along.”

 

“Oh, yeah?”

 

Clementine nods.

 

Their lips connect again, and Clementine shifts to straddle Violet as she lies down. Clementine props herself up with one arm and cups Violet’s cheek with her free hand as their tongues swirl. Clementine’s underwear is becoming uncomfortable friction against her.

 

She sits up for a moment, still straddling Violet. “These pants need to come off.”

 

Violet moves her arms from above her head to unbutton Clementine’s pants, sliding her hands over Clementine’s butt as she pulls them down. Clementine shimmies out of the rest of them.

 

“Do the underpants need to come off, too?” Violet asks.

 

“Go ahead,” Clementine replies.

 

Violet decides to tease her first, feeling her lips through the fabric. Clementine loses her balance for a second but catches herself, grinding into the touch. “Okay, I am not gonna come before I make you.”

 

“That’s determination right there.” Violet jokes.

 

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

“You’re so wet, Clem.” Violet bites her bottom lip, teasing her. “I don’t know how you didn’t know you were gay sooner.”

 

Clementine kisses her jaw, peppering her lips there before moving down, down, down to her neck and stops to nibble. Violet’s breath quickens. Clementine smiles at her ability to make her do that. Fuck taking her clothes off, she’s gotta do this.

 

She inhales and catches that hint of smoke and sweat again. Violet smells like a girl, and Clementine never thought she’d enjoy that. But she does. So she goes lower, lower, lower still and suckles on her collarbone, tasting the salt of her sweat. Smelling her there. 

 

“Fuck, Clem,” Violet whispers.

 

Clementine whispers back. “Am I hurting you?”

 

“No, no, it feels really good,” she replies.

 

Clementine goes lower, kissing between her breasts and then over to the side. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Suck. Soft, harder, harder, right on Violet’s nipple. She curls her tongue as if to channel milk, then she removes her mouth to blow on it, watching as it hardens. 

 

Violet grinds against her from under. “You really want me to fuck you, don’t you?” Clementine whispers.

 

“So, so badly.”

 

Clementine giggles, embarrassed. “I have to be honest.”

 

“Oh no. What?”

 

She covers her mouth with her hand as though it’d block the sound. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

 

“If you mean anything like you did in regards to your kissing, you should be fine.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m saying you’re an incredible kisser. If you’re anything like that in bed, you can eat me out no problem.” Violet’s arms hang above her head as though Clementine were holding them there. “You’re so confident sometimes I forget it’s your first time.”

 

“Sometimes I forget, too. You feel so familiar.” Clementine kisses from Violet’s sternum to her stomach to the hem of her pants, stopping to grind her palm there.

 

“Fuck!” Violet grinds against her, Clementine lying down between her spread legs.

 

“I’m just doing what I think I’d like.”

 

“It’s working,” Violet pants.

 

“Can I take these off?” Clementine pulls at Violet’s pants’ hem, hooking her thumbs underneath.

 

“Please.”

 

She undoes every button, just as Violet did for her, and Violet lifts her butt as Clementine pulls them over her boxers. Plaid. Oh, God. She’s too cute. “Can I touch you?”

 

Violet nods, her face a rosy pink.

 

Clementine angles her hand to rub her through her underwear, noticing how wet she’s gotten. Noticing all that she’s going to get to taste. She closes her eyes to listen to the sounds Violet makes, whining and whimpering and panting, only to open her eyes and see Violet squirming under her already. Hands clenched into fists at the sides of her face, back arching and falling, mouth wide open.

 

“Fuck, Clem,” Violet whispers.

 

“Where do you want me?”

 

“Use your tongue on me. Please.” Violet takes off her boxers, tossing them to the floor. 

 

“So. I kiss all around your thighs and tease you. I reach your clit. What do I do next?” Clementine lies on her stomach, spreading Violet’s legs apart.

 

“Oh, Clem. Don’t do this,” Violet whines.

 

“I’m asking because I genuinely don’t know.”

 

“I’ll tell you when you get there.”

 

Violet is just too much. Her golden pubic hair. The heady scent of her cunt. Her pink lips. Clementine didn’t think she’d ever think of a cunt as pretty, but here she is. 

 

She nips at Violet’s thighs, going in, in, in, so close, and then she misses on purpose, switching to the other side all while Violet desperately tilts her hips into the air. Clementine finds herself wetter- wetter- dripping wet, the longer she’s down there. Just Violet’s scent makes her shudder. Violet’s whimpers make her heart jump and her fingers ache. 

 

“What do you want, Violet?”

 

“First kiss me. Not up here. Down there,” she clarifies.

 

Clementine presses her lips to Violet’s clit, her lips slick with Violet’s wetness. Violet’s legs tense around Clementine’s head.

 

“Jesus, you’re strong,” Clementine says. It makes her wetter.

 

“Sorry,” Violet stutters. “I need to cool it.”

 

“I didn’t say stop,” Clementine says. Violet  _ moans.  _ “Note taken.”

 

Clementine wraps her lips around Violet’s clit again, applying a little pressure. Violet’s legs clench and unclench. She threads her fingers through Clementine’s hair.

 

“Okay, now use your tongue just a little bit.” Violet’s voice is choked.

 

“How?”

 

“Lick me a little,” Violet says, bracing herself by putting the back of her hand to her forehead.

 

Clementine dips her head back down, spreading her entrance open just slightly with her tongue. Her taste alone is enough to wind Clementine up for orgasm. She tastes just barely tangy, like watered down pineapple. “Fuck, Violet, you taste so good.”

 

Violet whimpers, long and drawn-out. 

 

Violet holds Clementine’s head to her cunt, circling her hips as Clementine swipes her tongue up and down and up and down, swallowing what liquids she collects. She begins to grind against the bed.

 

And then Violet says it. “Good girl,” she whispers.

 

Clementine whimpers. “Say that again.”

 

“Good girl?”

 

Clementine squirms, blushing. “Yes.”

 

She continues to eat Violet out, kissing and licking and finding a rhythm with her tongue, her saliva mixing with Violet’s juices, and there it goes again.

 

“Good girl,” Violet moans, pushing Clementine’s face closer. “Good girl.”

 

“Ah, fuck,” Clementine says, grinding harder against the bed, almost too overcome to bring Violet to climax.

 

“You like that, don’t you?” Violet stutters.

 

“Can you tell?” Clementine jokes. 

 

Right as Violet’s about to come, she takes her hands and pulls Clementine away, motioning for her to come kiss her.

 

She stops. “You don’t want me to make you come?”

 

Violet’s face is a red, sweating mess. “I want you inside me, and I want you to kiss me while you fuck me.”

 

Clementine’s entire body twitches as she teases Violet’s entrance with her fingers, their faces inches apart. Violet’s breath is hot. She forces an exhale as one of Clementine’s fingers enters her, and then she whines, high pitched.

 

“Kiss me, Clementine,” she says, and their lips meet as Clementine’s finger curls inside. Clementine’s mouth muffles Violet’s whimper.

 

“Can you taste yourself?” 

 

Violet nods. “More.”

 

Clementine withdraws her finger and teases her again before sinking two fingers inside her.

 

“Fuck, Clem,” she whispers, grabbing her face again to kiss her. When their tongues meet Violet notices her taste even more, and that earns another whimper. She separates them. “Harder. Please.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I promise you won’t hurt me.”

 

Clementine pumps her fingers in and out, using her whole arm’s strength. Violet moans, light and airy, and forces a strained smile. So unbelievably hot as her top lip twitches upward. “Good girl, Clementine,” she says. 

 

Clementine whispers. “Fuck, you’re killing me with that,” she says.

 

“Oh, you love it,” Violet moans, almost drunk-seeming. 

 

And she does. To show her appreciation, she speeds up her movements, the sounds and warmth of Violet’s wetness reminding her again of her own.

 

“Clem, kiss me when I come,” Violet says.

 

Violet slips her hand down to use her fingers on her clit as she comes, her lips meeting Clementine in a delicate kiss. Her insides clench around Clementine as her come coats Clementine’s fingers, Violet’s free hand on the back of Clementine’s neck, pulling her in. Stupid, that she’s not taking every opportunity to see Violet’s face as she orgasms, but there should be plenty more times to do that.

 

Clementine smiles as they separate, withdrawing her fingers to observe Violet. Her hair is a mess beneath her, and her face is red, hot and sweaty. Everything glistens with sweat. She returns an exhausted smile. She’s perfect.

 

Oh. Her fingers. Clementine brings them up to her face and stares violet down as she licks them clean.

 

“Clem…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

Violet wets her lips, shaking her head. “I wanna make you come.”

 

Clementine lies down next to Violet, facing her. “How do you plan on doing that?”

 

“C’mere.” Violet pats the space between them and Clementine scoots forward.

 

As they kiss, Violet trails her hand down lower. Lower. Lower. Clementine backs away to hold her wrist.

 

“Do you want me to stop?”

 

“No.”

 

Violet trains her eyes on Clementine’s as her fingers reach Clementine’s cunt through her underwear. Violet’s eyes widen.

 

“You are so wet,” she whispers.

 

Clementine sharply inhales. Violet feels her wetness through her underwear, running her fingers between her lips and pressing between them. Dragging up. Up. Up. Circling the clit.

 

“Fuck, Violet,” Clementine whimpers, cupping Violet’s cheek. Pressing her fingers into the soft skin of Violet’s face. Exploring all the emotions in her eyes. Feeling her breath.

 

“Do you want me to go down on you?”

 

Clementine shakes her head. Yes, yes, yes.

 

Violet kisses a line straight down her body, her hair trailing behind her as she reaches Clementine’s underwear. She runs her fingers through Violet’s hair, exposing her face as she smells her. Breathes her in. Gives her a kiss before hooking her thumbs under her underwear, sliding them off.

 

Clementine feels as they slide down every square inch of her legs. As Violet spreads her legs back open and looks at her, taking one heavy breath before swiping her tongue across. 

 

Violet whispers. “Fuuuuuuck.”

 

“What?”

 

“You’re gorgeous.”

 

Clementine blushes even more than she already has. She tries to stall. “What do you like most?”

 

Violet drops down to rest on her stomach, barely finishing saying “everything” before getting back to work. Pulling Clementine in by her thighs. Her eyes closed. Moaning into her.

 

Clementine doesn’t miss her opportunity to watch Violet. How had she not done this sooner? How had she not realized how much she wanted this sooner? All the times she could’ve kissed her. Could’ve touched her. Could’ve said ‘fuck it’ and forgot about her inhibitions. Just kiss the crap out of her. Just do it.

 

She kicks herself for it as Violet buries herself, her legs crossed behind her. Digging her tongue inside. Dragging it out. Clementine tilts herself with Violet’s movements, circling her hips and allowing her breath to come ragged. And then Violet opens her eyes.

 

Clearish green. Peeking out from between her legs as Clementine pulls her head closer. Eyebrows knit together like she’s about to come from tasting her. Her head bobs up and down as she works the flat of her tongue on Clementine’s clit. She’s perfect. Baby hairs plastered to her forehead with sweat, doing everything it takes to get her off.

 

“Violet.” Clementine whimpers her name. Like she’s singing it.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Inside me.”

 

Violet hums. “You want me inside you?”

 

“Please.”

 

She feels herself twitch before Violet’s fingers even enter her. She clamps around them when they do, her eyebrows upturned. Violet notices her hands, balled into fists, and extends her free one to hold one of Clementine’s. Their eyes meet.

 

“How hard?” Violet whispers, sinking back down to watch her hand as it enters and exits.

 

“Harder.”

 

Violet adjusts her speed. “Harder?”

 

“Harder,” Clementine whines, gripping her hand tighter.

 

“Good?”

 

“Perfect.”

 

Violet kneels to get better leverage, pumping in and out. Hard enough to make sound. Every exhale of Clementine’s is a whine, her chest rising and falling, grunting when she realizes Violet’s muscle flexing as she pumps her arm. Hotter. Hotter. Her chest and skin burns the longer Violet watches her expressions.

 

Then Violet continues as she lies down beside Clementine, their faces close together. Violet’s hair drapes over her cheek, stringy from sweat at the top, and then she whispers. “Does it feel good?”

 

Overcome, Clementine nods.

 

“Good girl.”

 

Clementine squeezes Violet’s hand, throwing her head back and spreading her legs further. “Say it again.”

 

Violet presses their foreheads together. Slick. “Good girl.”

 

Clementine starts to meet Violet’s hand, her palm hitting her clit on entry. Again. Again. Violet is impossibly beautiful, biting her lip in focus. Again. Something’s winding up inside her. Again. 

 

And then Violet closes her eyes, slowing just as her hips start jerking. Erratic. Trying to get friction.

 

“Violet?”

 

Violet opens her eyes again, burying her fingers to the hilt. Then she curls them.

 

“Fuck!”

 

She leaves her fingers in there, curling them. Uncurling. Curling. Again. “Are you gonna come for me?”

 

“I’m coming.” Clementine squeals as Violet drags her fingers inside of her.

 

“Good girl.”

 

Violet doesn’t waste her opportunity to watch Clementine come. She bites her lip to stifle her moan, her eyes squeezed shut. Her hand clamped around Violet’s. The sound she tried to hide escaping through her nose in a hum. She takes her free hand and wraps it around Violet’s wrist, lazily entering and withdrawing her still. 

 

Then she exits finally, bringing her fingers to her mouth as Clementine lets go, licking all of Clementine’s come off. She smirks.

 

“What?” Clementine asks, still hazy.

 

“How was your first time?”

 

Clementine shakes her head. “Holy shit.”

 

Violet relaxes beside her. “So, girls: yay or nay?”

 

“Yay.” Clementine gestures toward her whole body.

 

“I wanna kiss you.”

 

Clementine relaxes into Violet’s kiss. Her hands on her face, thumbs brushing just under her eyes. She smiles when Clementine giggles. 

 

They kiss until they’re too tired to anymore. Until every word they didn’t say comes out in that form. Until they’ve made up for every time they didn’t- every time they could’ve- every time they’ve wanted to. When their lips are swollen and saliva so mixed they don’t know which taste is theirs anymore.

 

It’s almost everything Clementine wanted. It’s everything she imagined late at night, unable to sleep, and even more scenarios she hadn’t conjured up. Even more sounds and tastes and flavors. She wants more, but not right now.

 

“You’re beautiful, Clem.” Violet’s little voice croaks.

 

“You’re saying it so much I’m starting to believe it.” Clementine settles on her back, patting her chest.

 

Violet sets her head down on her. “Good.”

 

“Can you feel my heartbeat?”

 

Clementine feels Violet’s smile against her skin. “Yeah.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Nah, it’s soothing.”

 

So soothing that she falls asleep right there, before Clementine has the chance to ask her if she’s gonna actually go to work today. It’d be a crime to wake her up now. Clementine wouldn’t even mind if she drooled.

 

She didn’t work that day.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how I did! What could've I done better? What could've I done worse? Did I do them justice? I hope Clem was dom enough. I tried.
> 
> Thank you for keeping up with this story. My bedbound ass lights up with a smile every time I see more views, a positive/constructive comment, etc. You guys are keeping me sane, lol.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh, the beginning of something wonderful. I hope you all enjoy. Please leave feedback.


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